This month has been the longest by far. Perhaps it’s because we didn’t have wifi for three weeks, or maybe it’s because we just barely passed the halfway mark. It could be because it’s the holidays and not being able to see, let alone talk to, close friends or family is heart-wrenching. Nevertheless, it’s been long.
a view of the himalayan range from the plane ride in
I have loved Nepal. It has so much to offer. The streets of Kathmandu (the capital) are packed with tourists – but not just any kind. These tourists are all decked out in trekking gear. It’s backpacking mecca. Prayer flags line the streets, and even though they’re a Buddhist thing, they are still so beautiful. After spending a few days in the city (for debrief) our team headed out to a village on the Nepal/Tibet border. With no wifi, no warm showers, on and off electricity/water, and no heat we quickly went into survival mode. We had to buy all of our food ahead of time in Kathmandu since all our little village had to offer was chicken, rice, and cabbage (not so suitable to pack for trekking). We were with another team, an all girls team, which meant that 11 of us squished into a room with three beds and only enough floor space for us to all lay out our sleeping bags, hip to hip. Our hosts, Pastors Indra and Jyoti (a husband and wife couple) welcomed us into their home with open arms – and their adorable children (two biological, eleven orphans) sang us a “welcome to the family” song. This couple is superhero status. They run an orphanage, have some sort of trafficked victim rehabilitation program, minister (via trek) to various villages around the border, and have a school in their basement (they are currently working on another building with hopes to expand the school, which some of us painted a mural for this month).
One of the first days that we were in Hindi village we headed up to another village near the border, hiking up steps upon steps until we finally reached the church – a cozy mud hut. We shared a message and shared a meal (my teammate Ryan killed a chicken and I helped de-feather it). Then, we pulled out our sleeping bags and spent the night hip to hip on the floor. The next day we had a nice breakfast (of rice and dal) and headed back down the mountain to the hot springs (our only place to take a weekly not-so-private shower, but that’s a whole story in and of itself). The Himalayas are breathtaking, and I felt so blessed to have been in them all month. Being in the mountains made it feel a bit more like home, and made Christmas feel a bit more real.
trekking (photo taken by Gabby Hobbs)
Not having wifi caused me to wrestle through some things. Mainly, I had to fight feelings of loneliness. An overwhelming amount of loneliness. I thought that I had dealt with the problem of seeking affirmation from other people my senior year of college, the season of the mass exodus of mentors from my life. Apparently not. This season of loneliness allowed the Lord to do some miraculous things in my heart… only, not before the devil got a foothold. I was struggling with loneliness so much so that I almost seriously considered going home. I got so down on myself, and stuck in my own head, thinking thoughts like “no one here understands me”, “this is not what I signed up for”, and “I don’t think this is what God really had in mind for me this year.” It was a rough week or so of being isolated in my own thoughts – harvesting a lot of bitterness in me towards the people that I was with, and the World Race. Luckily the Lord did not let me stay trapped. I have been reading the same devotional, that a dear friend gifted me, for three years now titled “Streams in the Desert” which, you guessed it, is all about suffering. December 21st has been one of my favorite entries for a while now, and it’s words spoke to the depths of my heart (yet again):
“I will give him… the land he set his feet on, because he followed the Lord wholeheartedly.” (Deuteronomy 1:36)
Every difficult task that comes across your path – every one that you would rather not do, that will take the most effort, cause the most pain, and be the greatest struggle – brings a blessing with it. And refusing to do it regardless of the personal cost is to miss the blessing. Every difficult stretch of road on which you see the Master’s footprints and along which He calls you to follow Him leads unquestionably to blessings. Every battlefield you encounter, where you are required to draw your sword and fight the enemy, has the possibility of victory that will prove to be a rich blessing to your life. And every heavy burden you are called upon to lift hides within itself a miraculous secret of strength. And they are blessings you will never receive unless you travel the steep and thorny path. (J.R. Miller)
Three days later, on Christmas Eve, we decided to summit a nearby mountain. The hike was LONG, and after a few hours of heavy breathing and sore legs our host informed us that we were only 50% of the way there. “This view is good enough for me,” I thought to myself, “there’s no way my body is going to make it.” Not wanting to be seen as a weakling, I struggled to the top. When I finally reached it, overlooking the below unseen snow-capped Himalayas I had a revelation… this was a metaphor for my World Race journey. Halfway is probably the hardest place to be. You can look back and see all of the ground that you covered and think, “wow, that was good enough, I don’t think I can go on any longer, I’ll just quit while I’m ahead.” BUT stopping in the middle means that you miss the whole other 50%, and the incredible view and satisfaction of reaching the finish, the end, the goal. If I were to quit and go home now, I would still have awesome stories to tell about the last six months. I’ve still grown a lot and the Lord has done such big works in me – but I would miss the biggest blessing, the finish, not to mention that fact that the Lord has so much more work to do! What a humbling metaphor.
And so, with a new reliance on the Lord and a desire to receive the fullness of His blessings, I will finish the race.
my Christmas Eve reward to myself for reaching the top
Oh, and in the spirit of Christmas, I vow to write a postcard from one of my remaining countries to anyone who donates any amount to my account! And, if you need any last minute tax deductions… I’m your girl.
