As I gazed upon the rows and rows of palm trees out my window on the bus ride to Costa Rica, I envisioned myself standing at the very top of one of the trees. Arms wide open, wind gently blowing through my hair and gazing at the ocean off in the distance. The top was so full, lush and full of life. Astounded by the beauty of God’s creation all around me I couldn’t help but smile and praise Him. I looked down. How did I manage to get up in this tree? Clearly I hadn’t just been dropped at the top. The trunk beneath me was rough, skinny and covered in vines. Nothing for me to grasp onto. Nothing for me to cling to. Had I tried to climb I would’ve been entangled by the vines wrapped so tightly around the trunk. Yet somehow I managed to make it to the top.
In my life, I desperately desire to climb palm trees. Not in a literal sense but spiritually. I see the top of the tree and all I see is the Lord waiting there for me. Waiting for me to be in His presence. Waiting for me to worship Him. Waiting for me to allow Him to meet me where I’m at. Waiting for me to grow deeper and deeper in Him. Why is it that I don’t feel like I’ll ever make it there? I try to climb the trunk but fail every time. I get tangled up in the vines of busyness. The vines of lies I tell myself. Such that I’m not worthy enough to fully experience His presence. The vines of sin that still entangles me. The vines of doubt in who the Lord truly created me to be. The vines of “I’ll spend more time with Him tomorrow” and the vines of exhaustion. I honestly don’t desire Him enough to clear away the vines and let Him carry me to the top. I doubt His ability to meet me where I’m at. I doubt His grace and I doubt His forgiveness.
As we drove farther along the coast, I slowly began to catch little glimpses of the ocean through the trees and brush. A second here, a second there. All I wanted to do was see beach with nothing in the way. Nothing to steal my focus. Nothing to prevent me from seeing what I wanted to so desperately see. What would happen if I chased after the Lord like that on a daily basis? What if I couldn’t wait to see something new about Him?
As this month in Costa Rica begins, I want to seek the top of the palm tree with all my heart. I want to clear away the vines that have gotten in my way and see what it’s truly like at the top. I want this time to be different. I want to be so in love with Him that I look forward to climbing the tree for Him and with Him. I want to get so excited at the little glimpses of Him that I can’t help but climb to the top.
