Here am I. Send me!

Living by faith… Simple request, though it seems. It’s even easier to memorize verses about it. That’s what I did. I memorized Hebrew 11 during my days of confusion. The days where I would literally be on my face going back and forth, weighing the pro’s and con’s of going on this Journey. Then I came to realize that weighing pro’s and con’s is not stepping out on faith at all. Did Abraham sit and think about how his life would be if he followed God in one direction or another? Nope, when he was called to go, by faith, he went. Quoting that scripture is easy. Living it out is way hard. The reality of what is to come is becoming more real. Am I ready for this? Am I ready:
           
                     …To be dirty. ALL THE TIME.

                              …To be broken and also restored
     
       …To worship in an unknown way

                                                            …To get emotional
                   
                …To have LONG travel days.

                                       …To leave my friends and family behind 

           …To fundraise (the F word everyone hates) 

   …To live out of a backpack

                                    …To love and be loved

                …To get sick

                                       …To live without Dr. Pepper (yes, I think about this)
 
                  …To live out of my comfort zone

           …To experience God in a way I never thought possible
   
                                     …To be able to trust Him every step of the way

             …To be around people 24/7
           
                                                            …To abandon my old self

Days like today, I am more than ready! Don’t get me wrong, I have my hesitations. I have moments that I ask, “What have I gotten myself into?” Even on those days, though, I still feel at peace about going. I’m learning to have faith in Him, to trust him with His will for my life. Thinking about leaving all my friends, family and everything I know about this life behind makes me have sleepless nights. Knowing that when I get back things will be different, people will be different, I will be different. Am I ready to be different? Am I ready to change things about myself that I have always clung so tightly too? The answer to this question: I don’t know. But what I do know is that I’m choosing to step out on faith and to follow God into the unknown. I’m choosing to step out on faith and allow Him to determine my future. I’m choosing to step out on faith and to go! Here am I. Send me!