Here I am in Real World Wisconsin Dells, WI.
Life post World Race of Base, about two months in= weirder than the fact that there's a Ripley's Believe it or Not right down the street from my new crib(thanks to Janeesch, a.k.a, Jay+Denise Heesch– best coaches+now roomies around))
Thus far I've accrued a car, monthly payments like insurance+ gym membership,+ job at the local Starbs… and I'm finding that "accruing"= not as fulfilling as it once was.
I guess I just keep asking "Why?" A pretty loaded word that could be interpreted more ways than the end of that movie Inception.
At first, you might read the word with the whiny, angry ‘woe is me’ tone, like the middle finger to the sky yell- a Jim Carrey in Bruce Almighty “Smite me, O’ Mighty Smiter” kind of “WHY?!”—(it needed the, almost as pointless as “lol,” exclamation point that shows up in way too many text messages…)
Maybe you read it with a meek tone-one that’s sheepish, barely audible, on the brink of tears and full of disbelief – a “Then why did you say that?” line from Mrs. Doubtfire kind of “why?” (I will be so impressed if you know which one I mean, but since most people don’t find that early 90’s gem as entertaining as I do, just know that the line is lisped by the girl in Matilda)
I mean for you to read it with a more humble, soft inquiry that maybe the cheese ball in some Fireproof Christian flick would say after he's been taken Oprah style from rags to riches- a Russell Crowe Gladiator classy, airy with honor kind of “Why?”
Deep down I ask, "Why?" in that last kind of grandiose gratefulness-my heart wonders why I got the chance, the opportunity, the blessing, the gift of going on the Race?
But somewhere from my heart to my brain to my mouth the oh so thankful “Why” with Mother Teresa motives and inquisitive Russell Crone (Crowe-tone) gets morphed into a Gerard Butler from 300 battle cry “Then we shall fight in the shade” furious kind of “Why”-because in the mundane of “real life” I get annoyed- I get frustrated-I get confused- and I’m without the Q, whom I’ve had with me the past 11 months that I grew so accustomed to in such a short time.
It’s in that tension-the tension of “Why?”-the tension figuring out why I’m here, why I saw what I saw and I can’t forget it (thank you Sara Groves song) that life right now= either trying for today, or giving up for today, either way it’s a day at a time…not trying to be dramatic, even though that does sound strikingly similar to an AA meeting.
What I'm learning:
To Try:
Because life sans community= suckville, population 1/ and maybe a few o' the Q I've talked to. Salute you, World Race, for creating such a unique/sweet way o' life. Aye, there's the rub, in trying to figure out what that looks like in this new 'real world' Wisconsin edition.
To Trust:
I'm thankful to be where I'm at and believe I'm here for a reason…couldn't tell you in the slightest what that reason might be. I think I could tell you more about that menacing Starbucks Siren logo(I have no idea what that stupid mer-thing means)than why I'm here right now. All I'm saying is:
"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever–do not abandon the works of your hands."-138:8
