As I sat at a bar café in Albania, this question came up in conversation. A friend, who I had met just a few days earlier, answered no. He asked why a good God would take his father from him, and his question hit me hard.
Just two days before this conversation, I learned that someone I loved passed away. Duane, who loved me like I was one of his own daughters. I moved in with Duane and Deb after my freshman year at Northwestern, and they soon became like family. At first they introduced me to friends as the dog’s nanny, but that title soon turned into foster-daughter. I was blessed daily to see how well they loved each other. Duane was sick and circumstances had changed, but Deb loved him through everything. In the two years that I lived with them, I saw and experienced the simplicity of God’s love. Love that is faithful and given freely, without being earned.
When I learned that Duane was gone, I couldn’t help but ask God why. After growing up without a father, two years was so short. It hurt, and I didn’t understand why God would allow that to happen. Yet I sat in Albania discussing how God could be good in the midst of that pain, and He put something on my heart.
Jesus went through pain worse than most of us can imagine. He was treated as a criminal and betrayed by one of his closest friends. He was tortured and then murdered on a cross. That was part of God’s plan, but that doesn’t take away from God being good. Without the suffering, there would be no resurrection and no hope.
God’s plan doesn’t end at the pain. Sometimes it seems impossible for any good to come from a situation, and maybe we will never get to know God’s reasons. That doesn’t take make Him less good; it makes Him God. We each get to choose whether we will trust Him in our suffering or turn away. Turn to Him, and you will find rest in His presence.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
Things I learned this month:
God calls us to leave it all behind and follow Him. I spent much of this month sick and in pain, because my body couldn’t digest the food. When you follow the Lord, you put your health in His hands. I also had to realize that God asked me to sacrifice being with people that I love while grieving.
Celebrate and make the most of the time that you do have. You never know how short the time will be. It could be two years, a month, a week. Give everything so that you won’t look back and regret the things you didn’t do and times you didn’t love.
Reasons I love Albania:
(You might notice that my lovely teammate, Katie, is in all of these pictures. Check out her last blog to hear more about our month and what Albania was like for us.)
