Empty. Those empty hands, strained and dirt-encrusted. Hands that were once outstretched, begging for help and desperate for love. The wrinkles in stark visibility because of the dirt stains creating intense contrast. An empty gaze. Eyes that once longed to look upon endless seas. To dream of the courage and strength to brave the waters of the unknown. Dreams of a life free from pain and hunger. Those dreams set aside in the midst of mocking laughter. There is nothing better. Being dealt an unfortunate hand, dreams are sure to end in more misfortune. It is better to not try than face humiliation. Those hands no longer outstretched. In tight fists, they have no hope for anything better. Closed off to love and compassion. Hopelessness. Shattered dreams have left a heart as calloused as those hands.
These are hands I have seen across the world, from Minneapolis to India and Albania. And while I have seen many closed hands, I have seen many more closed hearts. People who have given up on asking for help.
Two years ago, I returned from a short trip to Iraq with no job and little money. I soon ran out of food and refused to ask for help. My past taught me that asking for help often ended in pain, so I didn’t ask. After a week, somebody brought me to a room filled with food and told me to take anything I wanted. God provided. And He still does. In John 16:23-24, Jesus says, “Whatever you ask of the Father in my name, He will give it to you. Until now, you have asked nothing in my name. Ask and you will receive, that your joy may be full.” The reality is that as we follow God, He provides for us. And if we just ask, there are so many people that want to help.
As I painted a fence at this camp in Moldova, I was listening to the book Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. He states, “We work, but we know it is not our work that gives us what we have. We live by grace. Even when it comes to daily bread.” This truth hit me because now more than ever, I have to trust God to provide. With fundraising, there is very little I can do. Before, I put in my hours and was paid accordingly. I thanked the Lord for a job because I had experienced having no job, no food, no home. Now, I pray for provision. I live with open hands, lifted up to God.
The same day I was humbled by Foster’s words, I had over $2000 left to raise by October 1st. I went to check my funds and saw that I had a new donation. It was from a friend who is currently in seminary, works so hard, and gives so joyfully. That was an incredible blessing to me. Then I realized that I had two donations that day, and the other was $1000. This anonymous donation cut the remainder in half. It took me a minute to believe that it was real. It’s already hard to find words to express my thankfulness to supporters, and it’s even more of a challenge when it’s anonymous. After I failed to give updates on ministry or do any support-raising, God provided so faithfully through the generosity of others.
While I have $900 left to raise in the next week, I ask that you would consider giving to my teammate, Abbie, who still needs about $2400. In supporting Abbie, you are also supporting me. She is a vital part of my team who brings depth and joy. Please pray about giving and who to give to. The Lord can do big things with a donation of any size.
