As I stood next to the first bed of the day I was at a loss for words. This woman was probably in her 60’s and looked tired. She laid in what I would call one of the nicest spots in the room. Her bed sat in a corner, the length of the bed set against a wall of windows where you could see the people that walked by, green grass, sky and sunlight. Although she was right where all the flies came in she could have a fresh breeze if the wind blew just right and a sight to look out at. Her neighbor next to her could see a bit out the window but really she had a better view of the rest of the room that was filled with hospital beds, IV stands, and extra chairs. I started with “Hello, my name is Amber. What is yours?” With a weird expression on her face showing her confusion, I asked again, but slower, “what is your name?”. She said a name but it was hard to hear it, so I continued to try to think of what to say next. So I said what I would normally say “how is your day” and changing it to “is today better then yesterday”? The woman didn’t understand me very well though, so her friend that had been watching from an extra chair at the end of her bed came over to help the conversation. We chatted a bit but there was a limited amount of compression on both sides. Ending it, I asked if I could pray for her and her family, and once I finished I thanked them and moved on to the next bed.
The room was big with lots of beds all on the right side of it and a desk for nurses on the left side, along with some offices and other rooms for staff. In movies that have older hospitals in them I see these hospital rooms filled. Until today I had never see a room like that. My grandmother was a nurse at one point and I wondered how different and how similar this room was to what she used to work in. Have you ever felt like a clown when you walk in a room because everyone looks at you about the same time because you don’t blend in? Well that happens often on the Race. It is part of being a foreigner though. Today was different, when the people looked up at us it was like you could see their hope, faith, and joy slowly flying out the open windows. They don’t need to here “everything will be okay”, “I understand”, “sometimes life can be hard”, or any thing else like that. They didn’t need me to come in an preach about how Jesus suffered for us and that He loves them…ect. These people, these families need Jesus yes, but they are not going to see Him in my words but my actions. Overwhelmed- that is what I felt walking into this room so I did what I do well when I get nervous. I smiled. The smile carried more weight than I thought and became contagious spreading throughout the room slowly. The smiles wouldn’t last long but maybe a blink of the eye and it would be gone.
Bed number I don’t even know anymore was a special one. There was a woman in her 50’s laying straight on her back with no pillow under her head or on her bed. When our eyes met she smiled big and I smiled back. There was peace, hope, joy, and a little unsureness in her smile. I took her hand and told her my name and asked her name. She responded in clear English and I told her how clear her English was and we continued to talk. Talking about her family, kids’ names, health, her shop and more. I stood holding her hand the whole time we talked and felt this love and joy for this women. Looking in her eyes I thought what a child of God and felt just a bit of His love for his lovely daughter. Most would look in her direction and see a woman laying alone in the bed with not a soul by her side. When I looked I knew she was not alone. Her Heavenly Father laid there with her, comforting her in her pain.
He is a father, husband, and a man breaking for his wife. Slowly falling apart after five months with his wife in the hospital. Speaking little English we soon found that his wife will soon go. He has children and no job. The tears that run down his cheeks are ones from a broken heart and fear of his wife’s life. His love runs deep for her and anger for the chance of loosing her is at the surface. This husband was one of many I met and spoke with. Many sit on the side of the bed eating with, speaking to, and comforting their wife. This is the same with the mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandchildren that sit with that family member. Just the other day I read in this book called Forgotten God by Francis Chan. It talks about the Holy Spirit and how “the Spirit has emotions” then Chan references Isa. 63:10 and Eph 4:30. Seeing this husband that was falling apart because of his wife’s health, I thought about how God is in the same spot. His heart is broken for us each day we are sick or we are mentally and physically falling apart. He doesn’t just have one bed side to sit with. He sits by each bed side with each of His beloved sons and daughters.
The nurse that said it all had no clue what she had said to me at all. She was the one we were to go to if we needed anything. Excited to have us but she seemed spectral and questioning the reason we would even come. Talking with her, she had been working in the hospital for three years, a young women but wise and smart. When we talked about being a nurse she said it was a calling and expressed it was hard. When responding I mentioned how God can call us to hard things she asked so you want to be a pastor. The tone of her voice and the face she made said so you’re just another person who wants to preach to me right? My response was this: no I am a person who wants to live a life that shows that I believe in my Heavenly Father and share His love. We continued to talk and she said this: we have limited supplies, we don’t have everything we need like where you are from. The nurse made me realize two things. One, that not only do the patients not need to be preached to but the nurses don’t either. They just need to see the Lord at work. The second thing was that the U.S. does have it well. Sometimes it might take three days or even one day for new supplies or material to come in, but here it doesn’t happen like that. Things are slower and don’t get done or moved like they do in the U.S. Here sometimes you wait days and weeks for answers, direction, supplies and other things. This nurse showed me the greatness in just loving someone and the value of a healthcare system that is often not appreciated.
As we started walking to the truck I looked at all the building floors with the glowing lights that came out the windows. Thinking about all the people who were patients and then all the family members that were visiting. As I stood in the back of the truck looking at the buildings and buildings that were on this hospital campus as we pulled out, I asked the Lord why? Why do people have to get sick, get hurt, why do people die, why does all this have to happen? God is a God of healing and I believe that fully. There is no such thing as a perfect life. Those who have all the money still feel empty and like they are missing something. Those who do not have any money only wish they had even though they have a good simple life. Either way there is always someone complaining they don’t have it well enough. Health is like that. The healthy take their health for granted and the sick only wish to be healthy. Why it is like this I am not sure, although I do not have to have an answer to continue reaching out to people like this and loving because Christ loves.
