As I am writing this, I am sitting on an airplane going from Taipei, Taiwan to Manila, Philippines. It has been a long, yet good day of traveling from Atlanta, Georgia.
During this season of life, I have had time and space to reflect, which has been so good for this type A, go-go chick. I am learning that being out of my comfort zone isn’t so bad after all, to laugh and be okay with my mistakes (even recent ones), and to be myself without comparison.
This adventure has me way out of my comfort zone. I don’t know these people (my squad and team, squad is all 37 of us and team is smaller group within the 37 that I will live with and do ministry with) that well. They are cool people. I just don’t know them that well, and it takes me awhile to really warm up to people sometimes. I am also not used to having so much training and prep and am used to just going all the time. We are with each other a lot! I have realized I spend more time alone than I thought. I am not used to being around people so much, not being ‘productive,’ and just hanging out so frequently. I have been so task oriented, especially since PA school. It’s like you get caught up in a routine or rhythm of life or just the American rat-race and can’t get off or slow down sometimes. Life gets boring when you are in your comfort zone all of the time though. There are no surprises or adventures. I am learning that getting out of my comfort zone can be more fun than being in my comfort zone.
Y’all, I strive for perfection. I love getting things right and crossing all of the T’s and dotting all of the I’s. I used to shame myself when I’d mess up and really get down on myself, which really doesn’t help. I am learning to relax a little bit more and just not to take myself so seriously. So what if I mess up? Failure is part of the process to success. Michael Jordan said, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” The key is to keep trying. My dad told me the other day, “if you aren’t making mistakes, then you aren’t doing anything.” I am learning to not get so down on myself and to laugh when I mess up and keep going.
Also lately, the Lord has been telling me, “I want you to be yourself.” Recently, someone said something hurtful, and it really made me question myself. (Disclaimer: I am not perfect and do say hurtful things sometimes as well.) Moreover, I feel like people compare themselves so much in general or maybe it’s more of a female thing. I can be a pretty intense person. One of my friends told me the other day one of the reasons why she loves me so much is because I am intense. The world doesn’t need another fill in the blank person. I heard someone say the other day, “Don’t rob the world of who you are.” So now I’m trying to intentionally walk in who I am.
Life can be such a fun journey. Be yourself. Do you, boo, lol. Make mistakes, learn from the mistakes, and keep going. Even though I am out of my comfort zone and being stretched in who I am, I have peace and I know I am where God wants me.
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The Philippines is a beautiful place, and the people are so nice. I will post pictures next blog and more details about my stay here.
I hope you are doing well. I am thankful for whatever connection I have with you.
Blessings and love,
Amanda
