For 9 months and 9 days, I have lived with 6 other people 24/7. On travel days, the number jumps to somewhere around 50, as we walk through airports, hop on buses, and book out entire hostels with the entire squad. Living in constant community is one of the most challenging, sanctifying, and memorable parts of the Race. It is one of the main aspects that sets the Race apart from almost every other “missions program”. You see, we don’t just share a single room with 6 other people or do ministry together and call it quits the rest of the time. AIM calls us to be intentional, to meet every single day as a family, to speak life, calling out the greatness in one another, and to give constructive feedback when you see a brother or sister selling themselves short in their new identity in Jesus.
This idea of “living in community” and all that comes with it makes up over half of your WR experience. Recently, I was catching up with a friend and sharing some things going on with team, the good, the bad, and the ugly. During our conversation I told her, “These are the things that make up 65% of the WR but no one ever blogs about”. Racers typically write about the big picture, share cool stories, and show photos of new experiences, but what about the daily grind? What about the majority of the Race that while etched in our memory, no one back home sees? My WR family is one of the most powerful tools God has and continues to use over the past 10 months. What about them?
This is why I am writing. To, in a very small way, let you in on the majority of my World Race and the amazing lessons God has taught me through community living.
In Christian culture and often BEFORE someone has ever lived in intentional community, phrases such as “living in community” and “pursuing Kingdom community” are thrown around as some sort of Christian paradise. Images are conjured in one’s mind of Jesus-loving brothers and sisters laughing together, worshipping around a bonfire, cooking family dinners, serving one another in household chores, and “bringing Kingdom” to the neighborhood around them. The atmosphere is made of smiles and pure joy as friends “considering others as greater than themselves”; unity and genuine, pure love fill the air.
But what happens when the seemingly “harmless” side comments of one really hurt another? What if people have different ways of worshipping and experiencing the Lord? How do you respond when you’re the ONLY one to clean the kitchen and in turn feel taken advantage of? What happens when people have different desires and priorities for their time and only seem to care about what they want? What about comparison and how easy it can be to look at the gifts, skills, and beauty of another and not feel good enough about yourself? And different personalities, introverts and extroverts, some feeling like their voices and opinion go unheard compared to others?
I could go on and on.
Because while that sounds a little harsh, that’s real life. Life in community is hard. My team is made up of seven people who couldn’t be more different. We all come from different backgrounds, are at different points in life, and dream of encountering the Lord in different ways. We have different views when it comes to cleanliness, the way we want to spend our time, taking initiative, and living in community. Most of the time, we don’t naturally see eye-to-eye. We have to discuss before decisions are made, listen and respect the opinions of all, and sometimes submit to authority, even when we don’t agree. Needless to say, living in community can be challenging.
But even in the midst of challenging times, the Lord’s promises hold true:
I will work all things for your good. I will never put you in a situation you can’t handle. Everything I do in your life has purpose; nothing you walk through is in vain. I will equip you when I call you and as you look to Me, you will move from glory to glory.
Don’t be interesting; be interested. A friend shared this with me before the Race, but I’ve recalled this principle to mind many times since. We often try to win other’s approval and friendship through the stories we tell and things we say. But when we do this, the conversation is all about us! This isn’t life giving or loving for those listening and enslaves the person sharing to the perceptions and approval of others. So if instead we take interest in others, by listening to them and asking about their lives, we can really love them and free ourselves! To be known is to be loved and to be to loved is to be known. This principle takes our “performance minded, me-centered thinking” and frees us to really love, know, and care for those in our community.
Whatever you want to see, walk in it first. Another thought taken from a friend on the Race. In Malaysia and Cambodia, I had so many dreams for our team but when I didn’t see others putting forth the effort to make these things happen I got pretty frustrated. I wanted us to all want the same things and walk in the same manner towards those goals. But nothing was happening. Then a friend put this challenge before me: whatever you want to see on your team, walk in it first. You want to see your team before more vulnerable? Be vulnerable first. You want people to scream and dance during worship because they are unashamed and no longer fear man? Be the first to dance! Be a leader, step out in the things you want to see; others will follow.
Love from overflow, not obligation. The Lord spoke this while walking to church in Tanzania. I was completely overwhelmed by the “burden” of loving my team and those around me. The love my teammates needed didn’t seem to flow naturally and I often felt like a failure because I wasn’t doing a good job loving them. It was an endless cycle of seeing a need and never being enough. This was the problem: I was trying to love others more than I was receiving love from my Father. I was scraping the bottom of a dry well, trying to conjure up any love I could to appease the expectations I felt from my teammates. But we cannot love unless we have first been loved. Our number one job is to be the BEloved. “We love God because He first loved us.” In order to really love others, genuinely and with a pure heart, we must be resting in the infinite, gracious, and good love of our Father. We can only love others after we have received His perfect love for us.
Community sees the blind spots you can’t. One reason we need community is because our self-perceptions are limited and skewed. We need others to come along side us, really get to know us, and, in love, restore us in a spirit of gentleness. My team has had to call out fleshly things in me I didn’t know where there (or chose not to recognize) until they brought it to my attention. We are new creations in Christ and are no longer regarded in our flesh but according to the person of Jesus. So as we are in the process of walking out our salvation, we need brothers and sisters to lovingly call us to greater places and point out the things in our lives we have grown numb to or cannot see ourselves.
Law doesn’t bring about change; love does. I’ll close with this lesson because it is the one I am learning now. It’s month 10 and things on my team aren’t perfect. I’m not perfect and neither is anyone else. For many months, I have wanted to see certain changes in myself and in my team, but here we are and some things still look the same. In the beginning of the month, I was super frustrated. I was tempted to give up and some days I still am. I like rules to be followed, spoken expectations to be met, and everyone to equally share responsibilities and duties. But rules don’t bring about real heart change; grading each team member based on their performance won’t transform their heart. God reminded me of this last week: it was His LOVE and PATIENCE that brought about transformation in my life. It was the fact that God loved me in my mess and enough to walk me out of my mess that brought about change. We are all in process. And Jesus loves us every step of the way. He is patient with us and faithful to us no matter what we do. That’s where I am now and Jesus’ steadfast love is my current model for Kingdom love in my community. This is how we will see real transformation: when we humbly love one another in our mess and are patient with each other in process.
I didn’t make that one up, Jesus did.
