Yesterday we sat down as a squad for ATL, which is basically a time of stillness and reflections on what the Lord is doing and how we feel him moving. The past couple of days, I had been struggling to focus on listening to what the Lord was speaking to me and how he was leading me, so I sat down feeling defeated. I was so hungry to hear what the Lord had for me at the moment but I felt drained and wasn’t feeling anything.
I wrote in my journal “God, give me a vision or a verse to show me your will for me and this team.”
After moments of flipping aimlessly though pages in my Bible and journal, I closed my eyes and prayed for God to reveal himself to me through scripture. I opened my Bible after sliding my finger onto a random page with a singe underlined verse on it, and it just so happened to be the exact same verse we had picked out to represent our team at training camp back in July.
“This is why my cup is running over. This is the assigned moment for him to move to the center while I slip off to the sidelines. “ John 3:29-30 msg
As I flipped blindly to that verse, the Lord reminded me that it’s okay to have blind eyes because it establishes true reliance in him. It’s okay not to know what life will look like next year. It’s okay to be confused on what the Lord is doing at the moment because he is going to connect all the dots one day, in his timing.
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9
As I read this verse an overwhelming flood of peace came over me. I can try and plan my life as much as I want, but MY will for MY life means so little because the Lord is going to walk me through day by day, step by step, making sure that I find joy in every moment.
I felt the Lord saying “Amanda, stop searching for new. Make use of what I have already given you.” I always feel the need to seek more. I am always searching for fresh ideas and deeper thoughts, but I never take the time to sit back and reflect on everything he has already shown me.
I sat in awe as I wrote in my journal:
“Note to self// Have an expectant heart. Don’t get discouraged when you don’t hear the Lord’s voice over your life. Pray genuine prayers and be expectant of him. Look back on old things he has shown you and dive deeper into that instead of glazing over how the Lord has worked. Seek him and his will instead of seeking newness. Find contentment in where you are right now, knowing that he is working in mysterious ways. Seek the Lord and find peace in him rather than seeking peace and trying to find the Lord in that. Learn to be okay with silence and discomfort. Genuinely thank the Lord and know that, in him, my life will always be complete”
Thanks for reading my scattered thoughts 🙂
So so much love always ,
Amanda
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