Yesterday I turned 20 years old and I can honestly say that i still feel like im 17 but at the same time i feel older because I’m pretty sure i grew half of a shoe size. Anyway a year ago I would’ve never dreamt to have spent my next birthday in Thailand. Here i am though, in the bottom bunk of my room in the corner, writing this when I should really be sleeping. I haven’t even been here for 3 weeks but I’m in love. Thailand and it’s people are dreamy and so intriguing. The structure of everything is completely different from anything I’ve ever experienced. The streets are filled with night markets, people of all different countries, and some really cute stray dogs that I can’t touch (literally am dying over here). The people are kind, the coffee and food is stupid good, and just the overall atmosphere is just something I could wake up to everyday. For the past few weeks my team (Morgan Wadsworth, Olivia Roberts, Sophi Lutz, Emily Wilson, Kt Thompson, Presley Graves) and I have been doing ministry for “actsco.” Actsco is a Christian book company that receives heaps of Christian bible studies and lessons. We’ve been organizing them, repackaging them, and putting them back into big crates. These are potentially going to be sent out all over Asia to people who cannot afford to buy them in the first place. Um yes how cool is that?! At first we were kind of disappointed because we wanted to make relationships with Thai people immediately and manual labor wasn’t really our first bet for the race. But I’ve realized my expectations need to be thrown out the window and to look at it the way the Lord would. I see this manual labor, Monday-Thursday from 9:30 AM-4 PM, as an opportunity. A door if you will. This kind of ministry isn’t a well known thing, in fact it’s very hidden. But the ripple effect our teams obedience can have-that’s something unmatchable. These books will reach to so many kids and adults, who will never know our names. But they’ll know his name. And for me, I think that’s more than enough. The sweat, the tiredness, muddy shoes, my stupid heat rashes- all so worth it in the name of him. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder why he chose me to be here but I’m finding beauty in the unknown and the unseen. There’s many things we will not understand or comprehend, but something I’ll never question is his love. He loved me enough to bring me here, with some incredible people on an incredible journey. But he also chose you, and loved you enough to bring you here on earth, to live life- particularly beautifully. The curiosity of his plans and who he is, is an endless pursuit. Life’s been pretty rocky for me in the past but I danced on a rooftop last weekend, I get to move books everyday, see my teams beautiful faces everyday, make friends with Thai’s (they are beautiful), but some days-I suffer. Your life, my life, their life is not and will not be perfect. But I dare you to find out who he is, to really dig deep, and to finally know that he’s been chasing after you this whole time. I declare curiosity in your life because knowing him is sweet-it’s hard at times but so sweet. Sometimes its chaos other times, it’s unimaginable. But the chaos is something that can count-or you can at least make it count. The hardest things in my life have led me to this very moment in Chiang Mai Thailand. All the brokenness, loneliness, hopelessness, depression, shame/guilt, and so on have led into what’s becoming the next chapter of my life. I think I’ll call this one, “Worthy of Love.”
Also!! I’m currently at $11,600 which is amazing. Thank you to my supporters, friends, and family back home-miss you guys big time. I still need $15,800 by Jan 2019. If you feel led to support financially I would deeply appreciate anything and everything! $5, $10, or $20 (for my birthday;)) also feel free to subscribe to my blog so you’re notified anytime I post! Thank you for taking the time to read this, peace and blessings<3
