Profession vs Confession
My life for the past 5 months has been nothing short of sweet incredible moments but also heaviness and difficulties-as expected. I’ve had time to reflect on these past months, each unforgettable moment, and moments that are shaping me to become more like Jesus. I’ve mentioned a similar point of view in a couple of my last blogs but I’m coming back to the fact that being a follower of Jesus is not always romantic in the way that it is portrayed at times. As much as I want so very badly for people to come to the end of themselves and follow Jesus, believe everything that I’m becoming to believe, it’s not that easy nor is it in my hands to change people’s hearts.
This doesn’t mean being a reflection of Jesus isn’t important because it’s vital to our lives- it’s engraved in our very purpose on this earth. With this, I’ve learned the meaning of profession and confession.
A little background info on what this means:
Profession- “to profess something is to openly declare it, it’s a public of his or her intent to follow Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Because words do not always reflect the true condition of the heart, a profession of Faith is not always a guarantee of salvation.”
Example: “I am a follower of Jesus, I believe Jesus is the son of man and died on the cross for our sins, etc.”
Confession- “confession of faith is not the very voice of Divine Truth, but the echo of that Truth from souls that have heard its utterance, felt its power, and are answering to its call.”
Example: “I am a child of God, I am set free from pain, I am chosen, I am redeemed, I am saved, I am purposed, I am strong because of him, etc.”
At first I didn’t quite grasp the actual meaning of this. What it really means to profess your faith and confess your faith. So to give a real life example of what this looks like, I’m gonna talk about the past 5 months of being on the race and how these two things are working in my life right now.
5 months ago I was in the honey moon phase of the world race, of following Jesus, and being immersed into a tight knit community of over 35 people at the time. As time went on I experienced small moments, big moments, hard moments, and questionable moments. I experienced healing from my past, I grew in confidence of who God made me to be, I got to share the gospel, serving, learning how to love, learning to be loved, and so much more. But as time went on I grew weary of living this life, I had become so tired-that’s actually me right now, very very tired. I began to question everything I had been introduced to, I begin to question people’s motives for me-most of all God’s motives for me. At the beginning of my time on the race it was so easy for me to profess my faith. To come out and say “yes I’m going to follow Jesus, bring people to Christ, everything’s going to be so amazing!” And of course it’s been amazing but it’s turned out to be very different for me. I’ve been hitting walls constantly lately and it’s been so heavy to the point that home sounds better than anything else right now.
The words that come out of my mouth, professing what I’m doing, hand’t quite hit my heart yet-the way I wanted it to. I’ve professed what I’m doing but because I had a lack of confession of my faith, and what’s true for that matter, I grew weary and I have become weary in every aspect of my life right now. So the other week I talked to one of my squads coaches, Kendra Coco (miss u Kendra) about everything that I was dealing with internally. It all kind of came out as word vomit and things I had been shoving down, pretending to be okay, which actually led me to where I’m at right now. She told me to look up profession and confession, so I did. Since then I’ve learned about so many different things to the point where I didn’t really know what to do with them so I thought why not just blog about it. To paint a picture of what my days have looked like is waking up early, going to ministry from 9-12:30, coming home to team time, eating dinner and then filling my free time with something different everyday. But the minute I lay in bed, having time to think and reflect on everything, it’s released piles and piles of thoughts and confusion. I constantly wonder what I’m really doing here, I question the people around me, I question God’s love for me, and I slowly lose sight of what’s true.
A side note on losing sight of what’s true:
The lord gave me a visual of what this looks like when I lost sight of what’s true. I put things literally in front of him that aren’t true, I put all this stuff before him, to the point where I can no longer hear his voice-losing sight of what’s true, losing sight of him.
I didn’t realize a lot of this honestly until just writing it but it’s been extremely easy for me to profess my faith, to tell others what I’m doing. But to actually walk it out everyday, to believe these things from the heart, that’s been hard. That’s what I mean when I say it’s not always romantic. Do I think that following Jesus means adventure and incredible moments? Absolutely, but to really lay down your life, it means confession of Faith and what’s true. I think that’s why it’s been hard for myself specifically to believe I am a child of God, that he bore my pains, that I am redeemed, and that I am saved (+ more confessions).
Someone who is seeking truth and rooted in truth, it can be easy for my faith to be shaken- well because of many things.
One being I have held onto lies since being on the race far too much.
Two being that I have struggled to stand in what is true because my confession of Faith had been lacking.
& honestly a lot more.
So when I mentioned that home sounded better than anything else, I really considered it. At times it’s the only place I want to be because being here can make me so confused and make me so discouraged. But my confession of faith and my foundation of truth was coming from a lack of faith, affirmation in people, and believing lies all the time. And to be completely honest, these things are so easy to do-and that’s how the enemy can get a hold on you. Being built back up, wanting to grow in intimacy with God, trying to have a heart for ministry,
and learning to tune into the Holy Spirit, + more, yeah home can easily look comfortable-for me specifically. But with all of this comes the profession and then the confession-the actual belief of what I’m doing and walking it out everyday.
Although it’s not always romantic what I’m doing, hitting these walls has brought me to a place of humbling myself before the Lord-not to just be exalted but for my desire of knowing him more and being willing to go through the hard and uncomfortable times.
