I have been fairly absent from the blogging realm recently. In April in Thailand, we were in our final month as Team Haven. We knew debrief would bring team changes, and in order to stay present and fully process the loss of my first team in the moment, I decided to pull back on the blogging reins. I am officially back!
Part of the World Race that I was aware of upon applying was constant change. We were prepared at training camp to let go of our expectations, and a phrase that got thrown around frequently was let’s get ready to wait. When I rolled into launch back in January, I had literally NO idea what that meant. Our first month in Cote d’Ivoire slapped me in the face with harsh reality that I had control issues and needed desperately to encounter the end of myself. That I did…in the most humbling and awkward way possible – true to Amanda fashion.
As I navigated the first season of the race, the only change I focused on was the day to day and month to month changes of life and ministry and community living. When month four rolled around and impending team changes got tossed into the mix, I got thrown for another loop. Team Haven was true to its name: a safe place and a shelter from the storm. The five women that walked alongside me in months 1-4 vastly shaped and set a tone for my growth throughout the rest of my race and hopefully life. They loved me extraordinarily well and spoke hard truths in love. They didn’t carry my loads but they encouraged me and empowered me to carry them myself.
Trying to process the loss of this community felt overwhelming. In my heart, it felt permanent, like a breakup or a death. We became family and the thought of goodbye broke me. While processing, I wrote this in my journal: This isn’t like losing my ex. That love hurt. This love is beautiful and strong and has a life force that propels me to grow and be better. This love makes me want to love more deeply. It makes me want to be better. It points me to You. A little over a week from now there will be a different pile of shoes outside the door. There will be different alarms going off in the morning. This is a new beginning, and I want to face it well without trying to skirt around the necessary end that must come first.
When we arrived at debrief, I was a hot mess. The word I keep using to describe it is turbulent. In short, I was not handling it well. The cool thing about the Lord is that He can handle my turbulence. He sat there with me as my emotions spiraled and a whirlwind of chaos tried to overtake me. The race is often called a pressure cooker because it creates an environment where things bubble over exponentially more than they would in real life. Everything feels magnified. I felt that for sure because I was half-way to convincing myself that an atomic bomb had literally been dropped in the middle of everything that is my life.
The beautiful news in this story is that there was redemption. We got our new teams, and I am so pumped to do this next season beside 6 incredible women that are fiercely hungry for the Lord and all that He has for us. With all this being said, meet my new team, FRONTLINE.
Emily – Em is a familiar face and was also a member of Team Haven. The Lord looked at us and said, “They’re not finished yet.” I’m pumped to do another season alongside her. She is fiercely loyal and advocates for anyone whose voice usually isn’t heard. She has a passion for orphan care and is also one of the most business savvy individuals I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. ETCate has quickly become one of my closest people and uncovering new pieces of her heart is probably one of my favorite things about community on the race.
Nicole – Nicole is the embodiment of nobility. She walks in grace and has the gift of lifting up those around her. She boldly speaks truth into her community and pursues the Lord with so much hunger for knowledge. Not only is she generally awesome, but she is a video ninja and puts together some super sweet vlogs that I could only dream of creating. To add a cherry to the top of Nicole’s personality cake, she is our team treasurer and has served us so well and so selflessly.
Jess (aka J.Lo) – Jess carries so much spiritual authority. From day one of the race, all I’ve seen this girl do is grow. She has stepped confidently into healing and prayer and brings life to the darkest of places. She is a teacher and empowers people by listening well to their stories. One thing that stuck out to me was when she expressed with passion her desire to go to the hardest of hard places and get down to the nitty gritty of living out the gospel.
Kierra – PASSION PASSION PASSION! Kierra is a vibrant soul that loves others deeply and strives to empower the people around her. She is a gifted teacher and has the incredible ability to truly see people where they are. One of the many things I love about Kierra is how hungry she is to grow in intimacy with the Lord. She can always be found cherishing quiet time with the Father and pouring her soul out before Him through beautiful art.
Mya – Mya is our team firecracker. She brings beauty to the space around her and has a passion for making people feel “better.” Not only does she embody the most genuine childlike spirit, but she also seeks out children and makes them feel seen and special. Mya has a gift with words, given she isn’t too beautifully overwhelmed to speak. She feels all things deeply and boldly and is constantly running toward the Lord.
Lindsay – Linds is like a butterfly. She makes things beautiful and brings a spirit of fun and playfulness with her everywhere she goes. I don’t think the word fun can fully encompass who Lindsay is when she’s with kids. From camp songs to dance parties, she is always putting the sparkle into a child’s eyes. One thing Lindsay does really well is create safety. She is the definition of meekness and has a gentle authority that honors others beautifully.
Month 5 – Myanmar
Our first month as a team was spent in Myanmar! Last month we partnered with a local ministry teaching English to students who are primarily Buddhist. We held several regular English classes throughout the week. Friday nights, we had a free Fun Night where we played games and practiced English conversation skills. On Sunday mornings, we had “English listening practice” aka a church service where many students came and heard the gospel. Students came hungry for English and left with new seeds planted every week.
One unique difference in our ministry last month was a YWAM team! The first two weeks of month 5, we were joined in ministry by 8 YWAMers which was the biggest blessing. We were able to walk alongside their community and both build them up and be poured into in return. In addition, our ministry host’s wife went into labor! We left this ministry with one additional family member, their first child, Shellee.
It has been really cool to navigate the change of seasons and see the Lord’s steadfastness and faithfulness through it all. There are so many more changes and so much more growth to come, and I can face all those things without fear because my team is the Frontline and we are being led by the King of all creation.
