Romance my heart
This is the month I have been waiting for. When any of you asked which country I was most nervous for or least looking forward to I would have told you India. I was nervous about the smells, the crowds, I was anxious about the food and a lot of silly things that were all about me.
When we got to our ministry site and were told all the options we had for serving nothing stirred my heart. I signed up to teach some classes and work on mentoring some of the staff but I had less than a joyful heart.
That night I sat on our roof and worshipped alone. I sat with God and asked him to romance me, to romance my heart for India and it’s people. I was real with God about my struggle and that I was not passionate about these people or this ministry. Then I waited.
We went through the week, I went through the motions, while God stirred. Once a day I spent time with Jesus on that roof. I worshipped and prayed, read the word, and observed the world around me. All the while God was showing me what it is all about.
It’s about worship.
You think I might have seen that coming-we’re at a worship school. He is showing me it’s not so much about the songs we sing or the language it’s in, it’s not about if we raise our hands or not. Worship is about him and him alone. Worship is about being in his presence and surrendering to him. Worship is a lifestyle, not what we do before the sermon on Sundays.
This month worship is praising him when and if I never feel passionate about this ministry.
PTL (Praise the Lord) Jesus did romance my heart. He is good like that. He romanced me through crazy auto rides around our city, he set my heart on fire for the ministry being done here, and continues to love me well in worship. On Saturday we spent the day with four guys who love the Lord and are serving him at a Covenant Worship Center, we did home visits and laid hands on strangers. We were served endless chai by little Indian women and ate dinner on the floor with our hands and loved every minute of it.
God is so good and sometimes we don’t see that. I needed to love this place, I needed to feel for India. I asked and he answered.
But it was always more about that. He wanted me to see it was about worship, it was about Him.
I know more challenges will come in India, I asked for that. I am praying for more growth, more learning, more looking like Jesus. That feels like growing pains sometimes.
How are you growing in God? What is he teaching you? If you don’t know, ask him!
XX
