As I laid down for bed tonight I could not get his words out of my head.
“ On this street I’m a handsome man.”
My team and I went out for our fist night of bar ministry tonight. The goal is to build relationships with women who work at the bar or are involved in prostitution and our hope is that one day they are led out of that lifestyle through Lighthouse in Action.
We split up, Jamie with me, Shelby and Sarah, with Rachel. Jamie and I did a lap around the area and decided on a bar. Not much was happening and the girls were not really responding to us, then an older man started to talk to us.
He asked where we were from and he was also from the states, Vegas, and we talked for a bit. He had been in the area before for a while and “ wasted a lot of money on this street if you know what I mean.” He said he tries to stay away from that now but it sucks you in sometimes. He said “ On this street I’m a handsome man and that’s hard to get away from.”
Our conversation dwindled and we soon left but his words swirled in my head.
I knew going into this ministry and atmosphere it would be hard to look the men in the face as beautiful Thai women were draped all over them. I knew my belly would ache when I saw how young the girls were or what they wore, but Jesus wanted me to see the other side.
Jesus wanted me to see a hurt and broken man searching for acceptance.
Jesus wanted me to see myself, my own insecurities in him.
This man was older late 50’s- early 60’s, wore pj’s, broken glasses, and a trucker hat but for some Baht he felt valued, he felt handsome, he felt wanted.
We all want that deep down. We want to be wanted, needed, valued. That should come from our identity in Christ but it rarely does. I use countless things to fill that, to feel that. This man is guilty of the same thing.
It is easy to stand at a distance and judge what you see. Yes this man openly talked to us about spending loads of money on sex but his sin is just as ugly as mine. His need to feel valued is just like mine.
God’s grace covers us the same. Washed clean.
So tonight I am praying for value, I am praying that people to feel wanted and beautiful and handsome. When they don’t I pray Jesus swoops in to remind them.
