The Lord's constant pursuit of my heart has been breathtaking recently.
Last weekend, all 60 people on my squad met up for a debrief in Managua, Nicaragua. While we were there, the subject of beauty came up a lot. Over the course of the last two months, I have been solidifying my identity in the Lord. I had no idea that this was an area that I still was holding onto. The entire weekend people were asking me if I was confident in the beauty that the Lord has given me, and forcing me to proclaim the parts of me that the Lord has created well. There was some serious spiritual warfare going on in my heart about it. The Lord was nodding his approval of me, while satan was whispering lies to me. I was all over the place.
My team did a tremendous job of loving on me through the battle. They covered me with truth. Just as I was quitting the comparison game and gaining confidence in my true identity, I discovered that I had lice. Of course, the devil attacked me with it. There is nothing that makes you feel more disgusting than having bugs crawling around on your head. I cried about it, and yelled about it, and reacted the most like a diva.
It was the last day of debrief, and we were about to have our last worship session. Right before we went inside, I had a small breakdown, and didn't want to go in. Luckily, my team made me. I was quickly reminded of what a wise squad mate said earlier: There are two ways to fight spiritual warfare. One way is through prayer and the other is through worship. So, I decided to fight. Hard. While worshipping something changed. I suddenly believed that the Lord not only could heal me, but that he wanted to heal me.
A squad mate came over to me and prayed with me. She got the feeling that I should rinse my hair with water, and when I did, the lice literally fell out of my hair, eggs and all. I had three different people check my hair, and I was lice free! It was such an awesome moment.
The devil was trying to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus was giving me life abundant. The chains that Satan had around me were broken and the kingdom of God came down.
The Lord was fighting for me that night. He saw that I was struggling, and he lifted me from that place. He revealed to me that night that I am his precious daughter, and that he loves me unconditionally. He was pursuing my heart that night. Not only that, but every moment of every day he is pursuing my heart. His pursuit is beautiful.
