I am not gifted at teaching. It's just not one of those things that comes easily or naturally to me. Of course, I've had to teach at some point or another for 7 of the now 9 months I've been on the race.
After 7 months of not-so-ideal ministry, the Lord opened my eyes to something freeing and beautiful:
I don't have to have it all together, & I don't have to be good at everything.
I know that's a pretty simple concept, but bear with me. I had stored these truths as knowledge in my mind, but I didn't truly believe them.
It all started the day that Jessa, Travis, and I went to a school to hang out with the the kids one day. We get there, attend the bible study for the teachers, hang out with the principal, and randomly, with no warning, we are each thrown into different classrooms to teach the kids a bible lesson. I immediately went into panic mode. Travis looked at me, told me to breathe, and rattled off two or three different bible verses I could speak about.
And then I was on my own.
I looked around at the 30+ kids in front of me, said a quick prayer, and went for it. And you know what happened? The Lord used it. The Lord used me. Despite my inadequacies. Despite my fear. Despite the flesh within me that wanted to do anything but what was asked of me. It absolutely wasn't a perfect bible lesson, I'm sure. But it was a sweet moment of laying down my pride and selfishness and letting the Holy Spirit use me the way He wanted to.
I learned that day that all the Lord really wants for us in ministry is to be a willing vessel. He wants each of us to humble ourselves before Him, and to trust Him to come through for us.
In our moments of weakness, He is stronger.
In those moments where we feel like we will fall flat on our faces, He catches us.
I went into that classroom assuming that I would be facing failure and embarrassment. Instead, the Lord showed me that failure and embarrassment are not of Him. He put those two things to death.
Now, we can each walk in freedom knowing that He won't leave us in those moments of terror. He won't leave us to sit in our embarrassment. If we are willing to be used, He will come through for us.
After that day, for the rest of the month, I ended up having to teach in several different classrooms with little to no preparation. Every single time, the Lord used me. Every single time, He gave me the words to say. Every single time, He was strong in my weakness. He never left me. He never forsook me.
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is make perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
