This month has been challenging.
Although I love Haiti and God is definitely on the move here, our team has been plagued with sickness, the heat is oppressive and I don't think I'll ever get used to being this dirty all the time.
I’ve felt more spiritual warfare these past two weeks than ever in my life – I can literally feel it in the air and it wakes me up at night. Squadmates of ours down the street were robbed blind a few nights ago while they were sleeping in the next room, which has compromised any sense of security we had.
In dealing with these things, I keep telling myself, “It’s ok, you’re just passing through. Just a few more weeks and you’ll be on to the next country.” But yesterday we were visiting & praying for members of the church who are ill, and as we prayed over a young man in his early 20’s who has lung cancer and no means to properly treat it, God started to reveal in me my own sickness.
In two weeks I will leave this place .. but this boy with cancer, this blind woman, this lame man never will. This is their reality. Who am I to expect better?
What did I do to deserve to be born into a country with so much freedom and into a life with so many resources and promise? Absolutely nothing. It was by the grace of God that I’m not that girl on the road selling rotten bananas, so why do I expect to always feel safe and never go without?
It's because dying to self is hard. And it takes practice. I'm learning how to let go of worldly comforts and rely on things above a little more every day. I don’t know if I’ll ever master it fully – but God knows Im going to try. Because in truth, on this earth I call home .. I'm really just passing through.
