“I believe in God and part of me wants Him, but part of me is still attached to the world.”
It was Tanya’s second week at camp and she was finally sharing her heart with me.
She was one of our best English students and one of the most intelligent, gifted people I’ve ever met.
That night at our evening meeting we shared the Gospel with the kids and Tanya still had a lot of questions.
“For example, the church says I can’t date until I am 18 years old and that I can’t wear dresses above my knees .. and I don’t know if I can obey these rules”, she admitted.
I was confused because in our two weeks together we had never said anything like this to her.
“Where did you hear that Tanya? Is that what you were told you had to do to be a Christian?”
“Yes.” she replied, “it’s what the church says, but I just don’t know if I can do it.”
In that moment, my heart broke for so many reasons.
Of course a 15 year old isn’t going to want to give up the chance to date for another three years or only wear skirts to her ankles. But why was it that she had been told this was the price she must pay to follow Christ?
I began to explain to her that nowhere in the Bible does it say that she has to do either of these things. The message that Jesus brought is one of grace and following Him isn’t about making a check list of rules to follow. It’s about having a real life, day to day relationship with God.
I also explained to her that many times, these rules are man-made, and although people’s intentions are good, we are still flawed humans and therefore tend to put words in God’s mouth to make His message fit our own agenda.
Her entire face lit up as she heard the truth that God loves her exactly how she is and there is no fine print attached to that love.
My conversation with Tanya got me thinking about how many of us live under this kind of self-imposed law and call it Christ. It looks different for everyone – not having a boyfriend until you’re 18 may translate into clocking your required hours in church, but in the end it’s the same principal: following a list of do’s and don’ts does not equal a relationship with Christ.
When He called the prostitutes, cheaters and most hated people of His time to come receive mercy and new life in Him, it was not with the pre-requisite that they get their act together first.
His love for you is unconditional.
At the end of the week we were able to give Tanya a Russian Bible and my prayer is that through reading what Jesus Himself has to say, she will encounter something very different than what she’s been told about Him.
If you yourself have struggled with this same inconsistency – if you haven’t been able to marry the idea of a God who loves you how you are and a God who requires perfection – then I would encourage you to do same.
Give Him a chance to tell you who He is for Himself. I promise He won’t disappoint.
