I don’t even know where to begin. I will try not to be random, but there is so much to write about!!
My computer broke about a week ago. Boo!! I have learned that it really is a cool toy, but it really isn’t necessary. I really was attached to that thing. Now, I’m being forced to live outside of it and it is actually a big challenge. I don’t have music to listen to whenever I want to. I don’t have the ability to watch movies anymore. I don’t have the luxary to type out my blogs and edit them a thousand times before I actually post them. I miss that luxary, but I think my blogs will be just as good. 🙂
This month I have learned to step out and be more bold in talking about Jesus with people. Our ministry involves a lot of street evangelism. We walk the streets and try to talk to people. It has taken a while, but I have learned that I will not acutally explode if I approach someone, invite them to church, and ask if they need prayer for anything. In fact, I might actually have a conversation with someone. Last week, Amy and I found a girl that spoke English and we were able to pray with her and encourage her a little. It was an amazing experience. It is just awesome to talk to people, hear God’s love for them, and be able to share SOME of that with them. Even if all I do is give them a hug or offer prayer…they heard SOMETHING. I am learning that ministry cannot always be measured by the amount of things accomplished in a day. Sometimes it might not seem to us that we accomplished anything, but with God – ALL things are possible!!
As God is stretching me this month, I am constantly stepping out in faith. You know what? The more I do it, the less scary it is. I have found that if I think too much, then I’ll talk myself right out of things. However, if I do it rather quickly, then I am obedient and it is amazing!! So I have had this aversion to speaking publicly on this mission trip. I have been asked to give my testimony and flat out refused. That happened in month 2. Well, I have given my testimony three times this month AND I gave a sermon yesterday. A teenager we met in the city was coming to church on Saturday and I wanted to give this awesome sermon. I prayed and asked God what he wanted me to talk about. He told me – LOVE. I said, “Ok, but can you give me something a little bit more exciting to talk about?” But he told me to talk about love. And so I put together an awesome message on love. Then, the pastor was having trouble translating, so I cut a bunch of it out. When I was up there talking, it felt totally awkward. I thought it was a flop.
Five minutes ago the teenage boy that came to the service was sitting next to me in the mall here – talking with me about my message. We were just having a conversation about how hard it can be to accept God’s love for us and how hard it is to pray sometimes. He is interested. I am amazed. God is so good!! Even though I thought that my message was a flop…it did NOT fall on deaf ears. All I can say is WOW!! I’m so glad I listened instead of trying to write some fancy message about something I thought was cool.
God has been talking to me a lot this month about vulnerability. He has been asking me to share my heart with people more and more. Well, they asked me to give a testimony in church, but I was unwilling to really share my heart, so I put something together about how God called me to the World Race. To me, it was a total cop out. I get to give my testimony but I don’t have to really share anything that will make me vulnerable. Well, God convicted me about that and I shared pretty much my whole testimony with the racers in my house a few days later. It was almost impossibly hard for me to do that, but after I did, I felt so much lighter! And sharing wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be, so I have found myself doing it more and more.
I gave that same testimony in church this morning. I thought it was no big deal because it was my “easy” testimony. I was surprised about the reaction I recieved. A couple of girls came up to me and were asking me questions about the decisions I made and how I made them. They said they were facing situations where they also had to take leaps of faith. I was able to talk with them and encourage them after church this morning. Wow again!!
I thought that leaving my stuff and surrendering my job and my life to the World Race was the hard part. I knew God was calling me to surrender, but I didn’t realize how much. He is not just asking me to surrender my stuff, but he is asking me to surrender my LIFE!! I think I am starting to understand what that means. He wants me to be available to do what He calls me to do. I have to be listening to His voice and I have to just be willing. Sometimes it feels like we aren’t accomplishing much at all while we are here. I think, however, that I am learning a LOT about how to be faithful and obedient. I think that as I get better at it, God will trust me with more and more.
