I am Thirty-one years old.
When I was in India, I was sitting around a table and we were discussing a fellow missionary who decided to give 2 years of her life to an organization in Thailand. She was 25 or 26 or something like that. One lady in our discussion talked about how she was “wasting her baby-making years on the field”.
Those words sunk into me.
If this young’n is wasting her life, then is that what I am doing? When am I going to get married? When do I get to have babies? I’m thirty-one years old!!
Recently, I heard God speaking to me about Thailand. He was urging me to commit to something bigger than myself….to take a HUGE leap of faith.
Here are some of the first thoughts that came to my mind….
What if I’m wasting my baby making years on the field?
This wouldn’t be such a big deal if I was married already.
2 years is too long when you are thirty-one years old.
The question that I hear God speaking to my Spirit over and over again is this…
Do you trust me??
Do you trust me with your future?
Do you trust me with your present?
Do you trust me to provide?
Do you trust me to move for the good in your life?
Do you trust me?
Honestly sometimes the answer to that question is no.
But what I KNOW is this:
God is good.
He has a GOOD plan for my life.
He promises to provide.
He has called me to the nations
I am made for Glory…for great things…
My purpose is to be love, to love, and to bring Kingdom.
He is faithful to his promises.
I am called to give my LIFE as a sacrifice…
He works best in my weakness.
And so I’m diving in… head first…. into a LOT of uncertainty.
- I just accepted a 2 year missionary position in Thailand. (More info to come…)
- Sometimes I REALLY wish God would have gotten a hold of me 10 years ago…
- Sometimes I daydream about the things I’m leaving behind… I am 31 years old. How can I commit to 2 years overseas without surrendering my ideas of marriage?? I’m getting OLD, right? If God wants me to get married…he’s gonna have to SHOW UP!!
- I have NO IDEA what my future will look like from here…Honestly, living this life scares me. Living by faith is hard. Real hard.
Backup plans don’t show faith.
I have no backup plan. And if God doesn’t show up, I’m gonna fail.
I think I like it that way…and I have a sneaking suspicion that God does too…
