I’ve been away from home for five months now, and know that the honeymoon phase has definitely passed. I’m in the meat of the race, making it more difficult to be present here, not dreaming about home. What everyone is doing, what I would be doing, what I will be doing in another six months, where I will be… etc. However, God constantly brings me back to the race, and after giving him my worries, dreams and desires about my future, he calms me and excites me once again for his people here.
I’ve been asking for balance in my thoughts that are still at home, and missing people from back home, and have been showing discernment in these thoughts. I’m able to discern when he is putting someone on my heart for prayer vs when it is my flesh that is striving for attention.
One individual has been a constant on my heart for the majority of the race thus far. She is beautiful inside and out, and this is all for her. We know each other very well, and the two of us used to be inseparable, with an “us against the world” mentality. Taking life on as it hits us. She loves to make others happy, genuinely cares for people, and wants to do her very best in all that she does. Her kindness in a surprise chai tea latte before class was the best because it came from such a genuine place. She is a doer and a planner at heart and works very hard. Kindness and joy are a few of the fruits she possesses and shines, while service is one of her spiritual gifts that lets her love on others well. Her big eyes are one of the many ways to see into the depths that this woman holds. She is a stunning individual that captivates others, and the Lord wants to use that for his glory.
He overwhelmed me the other day during prayer with how much he misses her, to the point of crying, and that is only a glimpse of his passion for her. She is the 1 of 100 sheep that has wandered off, but the Shepherd goes to find and bring back home. Matthew 18:13 – And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about the one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. He wants to bring her home. He is jealous of her time spent on things not of him; he’s ready to activate the secrets and endless promises that are housed inside of her to bring his Kingdom. He misses her, and wants nothing more than for her to let him love on her. He’s telling me all of this in Tanzania right now; he’s chasing, pursuing, craving, missing and desiring all of you Ky.
I love you and miss you, and I know this is just a sliver of how the Most High feels about you.
