Being the eldest of six in my family and always trying my hardest to set a good example for my siblings under my loving, yet highly expectant parents was a good set up for being the “good kid”. I had the straight A’s, I was one of the teacher’s and coach’s favorites, and breaking any rule was one of the biggest sins in my book. I knew that I was filling the words of “good kid” that were constantly spoken over me and that brought me peace knowing that others were pleased. This continued as I grew older, and I found myself sacrificing my own happiness to make sure that others around me were happy.
Then I came on the world race and was made a team leader of six strong and unique women, and it was brought to my attention how much I strive to people please… and how unhealthy that is. It is impossible to make a decision that is going to please all seven of us, and that has created insane anxiety for me. All I want to do is make others happy, because when they’re not, it’s automatically my fault… well in my head at least. This was making team leading incredibly stressful, and I felt like I was carrying the entire team’s happiness on my shoulders, and naturally sacrificing my own.
The Lord spoke to me saying that it wasn’t mine to carry anymore, and he took me to Galations 1:10 – Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Of am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Wow… that hit home. Because it was exactly what I was trying to do, please people, and in that, I wasn’t serving Christ. My flesh and surroundings were speaking louder than the Holy Spirit, and I am not able to serve both of them.
The Lord then took me to Philippians 1:27-28a, where Paul talks about a life worthy of the Gospel. Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you.
When I decided to go on the Race, back around graduation, I had a hard time being accepted by all of my friends. This was hard for me because I made a decision that I knew was in line with God’s will, but I was not making others happy. Some people stopped talking to me as much and I felt persecuted for what I believe in. This killed, because again, people were not happy with something that I had done. Paul states that we have nothing to be frightened of, by those who oppose us, because we stand firm in the one Spirit. The Word also states that when we publically claim His name, he will acknowledge us before the angels of God (Luke 12:18). That is a huge deal, and I know that as I continue to claim Him, He will be claiming me as well.
This people pleasing is something that the Lord is still freeing me of, and he is doing a mighty work in me through this process. We are called to do two things when following Jesus… to love God, and to love our neighbor. They come in that order, as in Matthew 22:37-39 – “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Fearing God is not something to be frightened of, only when I fear man before my God.
I used to be a people pleaser… but am becoming my God’s pleaser.
