This is not a blog I want to write.
This is a blog I felt convicted to write about, then confessed to my small group, which means I have to write it.
Being super vulnerable in a blog is scary and intimidating.
So here it goes…
I have had the worst attitude recently. Literally the WORST…
I have been irritated with almost everyone. I have put walls up, distanced myself and been guarded with the people closest to me. When I went home for Thanksgiving I was mad at my Mom, for reasons not completely wrong but how I handled it WAS wrong. That frustration lead to short tempered and rude responses with the rest of my family.
I don’t know why I have been feeling and acting this way. I have had an overwhelming amount of support come in in the last week, I had a successful first fundraiser, and have not had any less time with the people I love.
I know this attitude is WRONG, SINFUL, and NOT pleasing to God. But I honestly don’t know how to change it. All I have been doing and can be doing is praying.
This is where I need you. I need you to pray for me specifically in this area of my life.
I go home for Christmas next Tuesday and I do not want to be in the same place I was last time. I don’t want to waste the time I have with my family being irritated at them. I want to enjoy their company, enjoy our conversations, and come back to Virginia feeling refreshed and grateful for the time in Idaho.
Thank you for letting me be honest. Thank you for letting me be vulnerable. And thank you for praying.
I want to specifically thank a few people:
Natalie <3 You have been an unbelievable friend to me over the last 8 months. You have challenged me to be a better sister, a better friend, and a better daughter of the King. You introduced me to the Race and I am better for it. I know no matter how much of a punk I am you will always be there. I love you so much.
Shannon <3 My life is better for having you in it. You call me on my crap and set me straight when I am going crazy. You are the definition of a constant, true friend and I am so unbelievably blessed to know you. Thank you for being so supportive even though I am abandoning you for the world ;). I couldn’t ask for a better sister than you! I love you to the moon and back!
Momma Shannon <3 My mentor, my second mom, my friend. Thank you for challenging me and sticking by me even when I am distant. Thank you for understanding my struggles and helping me work through them. Thank you for praying over me and loving me! I love you very much!
