I’ve wasted enough time not writing blogs so I’m going to start right now!
As you know, we got new teams (if you have been following my blogs)
Cherished Flame is 6 other amazing girls who love the Lord and want nothing more than to show His love to the world and everyone in it.
Let me start off by saying our time here hasn’t all been sunshine and roses (although I really wish I could say that… on the other hand, this is much more interesting)
BUT, if you have NEVER seen the “Everything” skit, You. Must. See. It. Now…
YouTube: Everything Skit (it will be worth your time)
In the play as you can see… we have the good side (Jesus) and the bad side (Satan). That is where things began to get strange.
It’s just a play, what harm can come from a play? Well apparently a lot when the person playing the devil puts her heart and soul (not literally) into the character to give a better performance.
She started feeling down, a little depressed and just plain weird!
Was it something in the air? In Vlora, Albania? Is it Satan trying to bring us down?
It was hard because we were all feeling in different ways (the devil is good at hitting us at our weakest points)
Some of us were having nightmares, others were feeling depressed, others physically tired…
It (whatever it was) was hitting me hard… I was feeling it emotionally, in my head, consumed by desperation, fear and depression, oppression- wanting to quit, give up, get out, hide, and run away…
the only problem was, I didn’t have anywhere to go.
Pop Question: Where do you go when all there is, is a brick wall in front of you?
……………………………………………………………………………………
Give up?
DON’T!
………………………………………………………………………………………
Let me help you… You can either:
a) Go back the other way… (not a bad answer)
or
b). Fall to your knees
I suppose I did both.
First I fell to my knees. “God, where are you??”
No answer.
“You said those who call to you will answer and not drive them away. But where ARE you?!”
I guess I could try going back the other way… and that way was towards my team.
“They won’t listen to you”
“They won’t understand”
“They don’t care”
“They can’t help you”
“Amanda, we want to help you but you have to let us in”
“What’s wrong? Tell us what you are feeling.”
“Trust us.”
So I hid. It’s what I knew best! I turned my back on them and tried (hard) to do it alone.
and it wasn’t working…
Finally, in all desperation and at the end of my rope, I heard my team leader like I had heard her for the first time (whether it was the 1st time or 100th time I do not know) I was tearing my team apart & people were angry with me.
(You know it’s critical when you aren’t only hurting yourself, but you are hurting an entire team) …
and they received me with open arms.
Since then, God has been opening up my heart to others. I am now giving myself fully to relationships resulting in loving others deeply and from the heart, just as Christ did. And the love is growing!
“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us” (1 John 4:12).
