Progress of Preparation
The first time I said it out loud I heard empty words. I couldn’t grasp the reality of what I was saying. When I tell someone I am going to work or the grocery store I believe I am going, but around the world is too much to take hold of. The words just slip past my reality into some other world.
I have a list to check off in preparation. Passport pages, visas, support letters, shots, paperwork, and homework writing are some of the many things that need to get done. I take one thing at a time knowing it is a stepping stone on the path leading to the start. At times I feel snowed under. I erase all I need to do from my mind and enjoy a day outside hiking or running. Even then I usually end up talking to God about my inadequacy for what lies ahead. With every step He reminds me who I am in Him and that ALL things are possible. He challenges me and when I am scared He embraces me a little tighter so that His love floods away all my fears.
Not only is there the logistics to prepare for, but I have also learned not to overlook my time with the Lord. It is in times of preparation for change, which also can feel like jumping off a cliff, Satan prowls around ready to steal, kill, and destroy. At times I believe some of his lies. Mostly the doubt he brings tossing my mind into a realm of maybes. Maybe this isn’t right, maybe this isn’t Gods will, maybe I will be miserable, maybe I am missing something better. In the end I always find my answer in the eyes of Jesus. When I turn and look at Him I am reassured that He is the way the truth and the life. I know that He has the best for me and He has truth and assurance in every place of doubt.
The entire process of preparation is a journey to a journey. A walk in faith relying on God. Believing He is who He says He is and standing steadfast. At times I feel I am being led on a path I can not see, by hands that I can not feel, but love that is so strong nothing else matters. I am still in the process of preparation for the world race. I am still waiting and believing. I know God is faithful and in the end of this stage I get to embrace the joy of the beginning.
