I am going to be honest. I have rewritten and started over on these blogs many times now. And it is not so much that I fear how my words come across. But rather because I could write all day long and some of you would be kind enough to read a novel. And largely because as much as I am able to share my heart one on one with someone and really open up in a word vomit process to share what the Lord is doing in my life, and all that He has walked me through, I struggle to share my writing.
For the past few years, I have kept a journal. Not every day, but often enough to have over fifteen journals filled with prayers, struggles, temptations, desires, passion for Papa, thankfulness and conversations between Papa and me. Fifteen journals filled to the brim with His Word for us, and all that I was walking through those days. Fifteen journals filled but I cannot write simple blogs to share my heart online.
Because it is foreign to me.
I had a blog site once before. It was for a missions trip I went on previously. But I failed the people that were faithful in supporting me because I never had a chance to write overseas and when I got back, I quickly settled into the ebb and flow of daily American life. I kept the dust of Africa settled in my memories because it was less messy than to sift through the pain, joy, realness of life and passion that stirred in my heart overseas. I had been changed but returned home determined to continue my life at home and in college. Sure, little things had shifted. I no longer needed another pair of jeans in my closet. And I was more aware of how much food I wasted. But the big messiness that comes with allowing God to wreck part of your world was left untouched for some time.
But here, I sit now. Fingers to a keyboard. Pounding out words that need to be shared. Because I know the strength in words. I write because I can remember God’s goodness. I write because while I may not understand or see God’s goodness at that time, I can look back and see it then and understand it more. I write because God gives me words sometimes and those are so precious to my soul. I write mainly for myself.
But here I sit, writing a blog for the World Race. And my mind is still blown that I have been asked to do this. That God has me at this point [So much more to come on this]. For years I have read blogs, and I have been so encouraged and inspired by all that God is doing around the world, simply because people from my generation are listening to His voice and are allowing God to transform their hearts and lives. And simply because they have shared it.
The World Race is powerful because it believes in the power of a testimony. And I for one love hearing people’s stories. Nothing is better than sitting with people I love and listening to their heart come alive at the sharing of what they are learning or what God has done.
So here goes nothing. A start to a perhaps longwinded and occasionally one-sided dialogue of all that God is doing in His world and in my messy heart. (though I hope you’ll realize that especially on the field, this gal would love some comments or message love). A start to sharing and a hope that you get a glimpse of His goodness.
Also – I recently have gone back to my old blog site… because some of you deserve to know the stories of Africa and all the dusty memories. I plan to go through all the old journal entries and give you the best of the best and even some of the worst of the worst : ) http://sweetlybroken03.wordpress.com/
