While
on the race, our coaches (the best ones ever, the Paschalls!) gave us the
book,”A Royal Priesthood” to read. I was the first on my team to
read it, back in May I think. I decided I wanted to read it again now
that I’m home. I did read a lot of books between then and now. I was
reading it today and a passage really stuck out to me and got me
thinking and I wanted to share the insight I received today.

Here’s
the passage:

Our
adversary sees us in our vulnerable state, and immediately slings his
arrows against us. We wince in pain as his “fiery dart”
penetrates, and vow never to
allow that to happen again. So to protect ourselves from further
wounding, we try to erect walls around our hearts,
that shut out, not only the hurtful experiences, but family, friends,
and even the Lord himself. Or maybe we simply
harden
our hearts to avoid or numb the pain.

Although
these are common responses, they are not the kind of response God
desires. He wants us to have soft hearts that are open
to giving and receiving love. He intends that we have gentle
spirits
that are sensitive to His heart and the hearts of
others. So, how do we remain soft and sensitive to God on the one
hand, without being vulnerable or defenceless toward the enemy on the
other? Simply, we “put on the whole armor of God” on the outside,
so that we can remain “tender-hearted” on the inside.

When
reading this, I thought about how much God had softened my heart this
past year. When our hearts are soft they are able to be in tune with
God’s heart and what he feels for His people. This past year I
learned more of what it means to experience God’s heart for people,
as I felt their burdens and interceded for them. I thought this was a
‘new gift’ which was given to me. But today upon reading this the
thought came,”What if I had this all the time, but didn’t know it
because I protected myself by hardening my heart?” How could God’s
gifts be used to the fullest capacity if he can’t mold our heart to
use them? I wondered how many people in the Body of Christ have gifts
that they are unable to use because of their hardened hearts? If we
all used the Armor of God to protect us, instead of our own means how
much more could we be doing for the Kingdom of God?

I
don’t want to be responsible for Godly things to stop because of me.
I don’t want to miss out on being used by God because of my own
insecurity or self-preservation. But this is what happens when we do
it on our own. Further along in the chapter it talked about how in
Ephesians 6 after explaining the armor, the next thing it says is to
pray. If we, instead of doing it on our own, would simply turn to God
and pray after affliction, we would find healing, forgiveness,
soothing ointment and strength to continue on in the manner that God
wants us to. Therefore we would be able to stay in tune with God’s
heart and love for people. This day I was forever challenged to keep
my heart soft and malleable for God to do as He wishes, and now I
challenge you to do the same.