BRRRR.
It is indeed cold here, some on my team pray for snow, while I think
snow in July would be something totally awesome, I hope it doesn’t just
because I’m not prepared for that kind of weather. 😉
This month my team
has the completely amazing opportunity to work with Iris Ministries to
help get some houses ready in time to open a children’s village by the
end of this month. So there is lots of manual labor to do, and our guys
are thrilled about this. One thing I really appreciate about this
ministry is that their real attitude is “Don’t do something unless you
feel God has called you to it.” Although this can be difficult to
follow, to only do what God wants you to, and to not do something just
because it needs to be done. Yeah, this is a struggle for me.
So far this month,
God has called me to prayer and intercession, actually I’m not allowed
to do physical labor right now. (Maybe soon?) I go and walk through the
field and/or around the property praying and speaking scriptures over
the houses and land. I’ve been able to see the vision of what they want
it to look like in the future with more homes and children and crops
growing. It’s totally exciting and amazing to see through God’s eyes
what will come. However, I know that the deadline of getting everything
done is looming so close, the plan is to open the children’s village on
the 18th and there is so much that needs to be done. I find myself
battling guilt because I’m not working on any of the last minute
details, but it’s not what I’ve been called to do from God. Even though
I know this, it’s still a battle in me.
During the last
debrief, I told God that I didn’t care what HE wanted me to do, that I
just wanted to be used by Him and do His will. I’m definitely being
tested in that now. By choosing to pray/intercede instead of doing the
labor I’m coming face-to-face with many things. One being to let go of
what I think people may be thinking about me- She’s not doing any work, why is she even here? Two, obedience despite what I would like to do- Couldn’t I just paint or something? No, just be quiet and listen…okay. Three, learning how to cultivate and trust the giftings that God is working in me- I feel like what is going on here? You want me to pray this… Four, humility- This is what I’m struggling with and I need help. Finally, doubt- What if things that I could be doing don’t get done, then what God? Oh trust you, okay. I’m sure there are more but this is what I have as of now to share.
I’m curious to
see how things will be at the end of the month. I know that because of
the obedience that I’m struggling and trying so hard to walk in that
everything will turn out the way God wants. Believe me, I know and
understand the importance of intercession and prayer, I’m not
belittling that at all, it’s just easier sometimes to do something
tangible, to see physical progress from your work. No matter what the
case, it’s all in God’s hands and it will all go for His glory anyway.
