As you may or may not realize, living in community can be hard. Putting others first, giving them the benefit of the doubt, and choosing a servant heart is a daily struggle. It was easier for me to avoid this on a day to day basis in the States, but on the Race there’s been no escape. Let me provide an example from my life of one such struggle.
Some people don’t mind trash around the house, or clean up immediately after eating, and some don’t mind leaving things in the sink- for a day, or more. I am not one of those people, but that doesn’t make me right or better than they are. All month I’ve washed my dishes in a timely manner and picked up after myself. I have, on occasion, washed other people’s dishes, and picked up their trash because I was frustrated and feared an insect invasion, not with a heart to serve.
Our squad leader came to stay a few days so several people on the team went to meet her and walk back house. Myself, and 2 other team mates stayed at the house to relax and get ready before the graduation ceremony we had scheduled that night for the school we’ve been working in.
Our first house guest was coming and the proper lady in me really wanted to clean the place up. But, the frustrated, part of me that wanted justice, didn’t want to clean up for anyone, no helping or serving here thank you! I debated for several minutes whether or not to wash and clean before our guest arrived. But started to pick up the dishes and was about to pick up trash when I heard something inside say, “This is what Jesus does for you Amanda. He picks up your dirty stuff, sin, brokenness, all the ways you’ve failed to do the right thing, He does that for you, and He’s glad to do it.”
Well, that thought really cut me to the heart. I washed the dishes and picked up trash. And I cried washing those dishes and felt so very, very thankful. I have nothing to stand on, not a thing. I’m not good, or better, or the best, or the cleanest. The mess was mine, but He took care of it himself, all my failures and ugly thoughts and mean things I’ve said. Because I never could do that myself. He took it from me and paid the price of separation from God so that I could start over, new, every day. I am so excited about that realization the Holy Spirit gave me. It has given me so much freedom this month.
I’m so thankful to be here on this journey, thank you again for your support and encouraging emails you’ve sent. I will be posting more blogs about Guatemala and the work we have been doing here. This blog was just so near to my heart that I needed to share it first off. This month has been one of revelation and insight. Things God has shown me about my own heart, and much more. It has been a great month!
My team and I are getting ready for changes in the next week and then on to Africa. If you would please pray for us and our squad as we travel and go through the team changes I will be so grateful.
With love,
Manda
