My mom taught me a lot about character. She taught me about being brave and about commitment. She taught me about follow through because she never let me quit. She taught me that even if I hated something, it says more about my character to see it through to the end and say “I did it,” than to be known as a person who quits. That also taught me to really know my level of desire for something before I commit.
As an 8th grade girl I had a super terrible haircut (because I tried to cut my bangs myself, then allowed multiple people- without any sort of skills- access to scissors near my head). My wardrobe consisted mainly of clothes in every shade of blue imaginable and most things had the word “Angel” plastered across them. I wore many pants that weren’t quite pajamas, but would now be my “I’m sitting at home and watching Netflix today” clothes. The things in my wardrobe that weren’t blue were red and black, hoodies and more soft pants, the uniform that I had to wear twice a week for six years that told everyone in the school I was a cheerleader and we had a game that day.
My cheerleading season had come to a close, volleyball season was over (yeah I had a short stint with volleyball… Then I stuck with Cheerleading), and I began toying around with the idea of joining the track and field team, just for something to do. My best friend was Jenny. She was joining and wanted me to be there too. We planned out how I could just do the field events… Where there is little to no actual running involved. I never actually liked running. Then she told me that if I didn’t joint the track team, she would tell the boy I liked, that I liked him. What a horrific thing to my 8th grade mind!! So as we passed the sign up sheet on our morning walks around the school, my name went on the list.
I hated pretty much everything about track. My coach found out my mom was a distance runner, so he thought that meant I would enjoy it as well. My regular events became the 3200m run AND the 1600m run. I was miserable. I seriously dislike running, always have. It doesn’t feel good to me. And as an 8th grader fitting awkwardly into that weird uniform with the underwear shorts, being forced into running a minimum of 3 miles daily, I seriously wanted to quit. Out of all the schools we regularly ran against, there were three girl distance runners total. I was one of them. I would cry. I would boycott by just walking it… Even during track meets. I was always last, but I didn’t care because I hated every second of it. I wasn’t allowed to quit though. Even though I cried and walked and embarrassed myself in front of crowds of hundreds of people by doing so, I wasn’t allowed to quit. And I always ran in the last 200m even if I didn’t want to. I can still hear Jenny in my mind, running with me along the inside of the track “come on, Amanda… Kick it in! Sprint! You’ve got this!”
I never quit. I made it known I didn’t want to be there, but I showed up. And that did more for my character than I realized. It made me aware of what I commit to. It means that now when I commit, I’m all in because I don’t like to hate something I’m a part of.
I made a commitment to D squad 2nd gen. I finished my race. The full 11 months. There were for sure days I didn’t want to be there (month 6 anyone?). But, the follow through was worth it.
I made a commitment to D squad 3rd gen. To be with them for the first five months, discipling and loving them, and to cheer them on after I left the field with the hopes of coming back and being with them at final debrief. I was there for those five months and leaving them was so hard. I just knew that the best was yet to come. And it has. Three months later and they are doing amazing things. They have become such amazing people. I can only imagine what they will be like in three more months. I want to be there to see it. I’m not about to quit on them now.
I know I consistently sound like a broken record in asking for support. But when I commit, my desire to follow through on something is greater than my pride. And I want this. I have 20 days to get in $2600 or I don’t get to go to final debrief. I don’t get to see what my squad is like and how they are doing in person. That’s not a good follow through for me. That’s not the way I want to end this commitment to them. This follow through is so worth it. I know that $2600 is like nothing to the way God can provide and has provided in my life. Please consider partnering with me to get me to Cambodia to finish my leadership strong with my beloved D squad.
Much love,
-A
