Downsizing my life for the glory of God.
That is what I am about to begin doing. Many people when they enter this journey answer the question “Why go on the world race?” For me it has never been a question of why. The question rather is Why Not!? Why wouldn’t I go? Why would I stay comfortable in my little box where I technically could be a “Sunday only Christian” when I have been redeemed?
The
Answer
Is
I
Wouldn’t.
I am comfortable in my laziness, and my life that really is quite boring. I don’t have much to be afraid of [besides the earwigs that creep around my house…]. I have been blessed with two wonderful and loving parents. I have a fabulous extended family who I am so thrilled to be close to. I am encouraged by my church family who I have grown to love so much… but something has been missing. Here is a little insight into my last 4 years.
I went to a Christian college where we were in our Christian school bubble. I reluctantly went to chapel 4 times a week [most weeks]. My Bible became a textbook and conversations about theology became regular dinner conversation. My prayer life died because I felt that I didn’t need to pray; unless of course it was the week of 24/7 prayer, in which case I would skip class and stay up for days because I always seemed to forget how much I loved that intimate time with my Abba. Bible class was my scheduled nap 3 times a week. My professors became my friends. People came in and out of my life.
Then… I went to Romania for the first time. Although I grew up surrounded by love, I don’t think I truly knew love, like the love of my Abba, until I spent my first day at the orphanage. I was heartbroken. Yet, at the same time so [full]. I will never forget when Mariana held my hand for the first time. I cried. I thought she was a boy because her hair was so short. She wouldn’t stop rocking. Or hitting her own head. Or making loud squeaking and grunting noises. The only word she could say was ‘apa’ which means water. She was thirsty. Her hands were so dirty and her clothes smelled bad. I felt like I could use a gallon of hand sanitizer and still not be clean. But when I looked into her eyes… I could see peace and love and joy. I loved her from that first moment. When I went back two years later… even with her mental disabilities, she [remembered] me. She held me like she wasn’t ever going to let go. Her infectious smile was still there. She couldn’t say it, but she didn’t need to. She was glad I was there again. I hadn’t forgotten her. I [remembered] her.
Mari in 2008 Mari in 2010
Why would I stay in this place, when there are so many Mariana’s out there who need to be reminded that they are [loved]. That they are [beautiful]. That they are [worth it]. That they have a [heavenly father] even if their earthly father is no more. Why would I stay, when I know this love…
So I go.
Please support me in my ministry. Whether that is in prayer or financially. More Mariana’s need to know…
1 Corinthians 13:13
English: “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
Romanian: “Acum dar raman acesta trei: credinta, nedejda, si, dragostea. Dar cea mai mari dintre ele este dragostea.”
