so as I sit here at midnight on Wednesday trying to figure out how exactly I am going to get $1700 into my account by Friday, I am kinda freaking out. But I know that it is totally possible.
when I was in high school and college I had this awesome habit of procrastinating. I got REALLY, REALLY good at it. I got to where I could whip out a 1,000 word Bible paper in less than 45 minutes in the hour before the class started, email it to the prof, and still make it to class on time and pull a decent grade. This was not a theory I tested once, but something that happened for EVERY paper. I would “start” it days in advance. [[and by start it I mean I would type my heading then end up on facebook]] I have written sermons and messages and papers and final projects and literally turned them in with the ink still wet from the printer because I had just finished. I am awesome at procrastinating.
often times people see it as a flaw, but I like to see it as a good quality. It helps me be flexible and live a more “fly by the seat of your pants” life. Because I procrastinate so well I have gotten to spend so much quality time with people, doing and experiencing more things, and then when I finally begin whatever it is that I am procrastinating I do it big right at the end. I work well under pressure. It forces me to engage quickly and focus on the important stuff. It helps me to trim the fluffy stuff or the tiny details that don’t actually matter, ever. People have tried to change me. Roommates and friends have offered study sessions and group writing times and those never worked for me. My focus was just never there until it was crunch time. I tried using a planner/agenda to schedule my time out for me. [i doodled on the pages and often lost it within a week or two].
the past few days I have been thinking about how God uses our own qualities to reveal himself to us in ways that we never thought possible. many times, especially in fundraising for this, I have thought “God you control all the money in the world, why am I not fully funded yet??” or “God why didn’t I reach that deadline two weeks ago like everyone else?” or [my personal favorite] “Since I am not funded yet, does that mean you don’t want me to go?”
but he is speaking to me in my own language on this one. yes, $1700 is nothing but mere pennies to God. But he still has three days. so why wouldn’t he do it big right at the end. If you recall my posts from my Training Camp deadline, I got the final dollars within HOURS the DAY OF my deadline. I was $1400 away and he provided that in 8 days. Earlier today I needed about $2500.
He is working.
but he is procrastinating.
because that is how I roll.
Some would say he is doing this to teach me patience and trust. which is totally possible, and totally probable. and is something that it is/will teach me. But that’s not the main thing. The main thing is that he is showing me lately is that it’s okay to be who I am. I am a procrastinator. It’s not a horrible thing. It can be scary and edgy and yeah, sometimes it doesn’t work in my favor. but I believe that my God works miracles and speaks tenderly to my heart in a way that wouldn’t speak to someone else.
I need $1700 in the next few days.
Help God blow my mind and show me the love.
If I don’t have this in my account, I don’t get to leave in January. That is the bottom line.
My last three blogs have averaged 125 hits each. That means that if each person that visited my blog donated $14 i would pass this deadline. $14 could make the difference. Don’t be like me and procrastinate, it takes the online donations a few days to process so you really should do it right now. Just click the link under my picture to donate.
To those of you I don’t know who donated to me,
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
from the bottom of my heart!!!!!
Much love and thanks,
-A
