Nine years ago at the beginning of April, I made a decision to follow Jesus all the day of my life. That choice literally changed everything about the direction I was headed.
I was 16 years old and hoping to conquer the universe. I had recently come back from a trip to London and was struck with a travel bug. Any time I could get out of my little town, I took the opportunity. That summer I went to cheerleading camp, band camp, Disney World, the upper peninsula of Michigan, and probably other places that I don’t remember. At that point in my life I wanted to go to one of the biggest party schools in Michigan. I wanted to go into the music industry and be the manager of a recording studio, helping artists live out their dreams. I wanted to be able to produce music for people. I am not even sure where that dream came from honestly. I think I had decided what school I wanted to go to and then liked the description of that major the best. I mean, I had said “yes” to God, but why should that mean I had to give up my dreams?
I had applied for said party school, was accepted, and was about to send in my dorm deposit and request to live with a friend who had also been accepted. Around that time there was a college fair in a nearby town. I really didn’t want to go to this college fair. I already had my plans in place. I knew what I was going to do with my life. I knew the direction I wanted to go and nothing was going to change that. I wanted college to be this fun experience that I had heard so much about. Parties and pub crawls and huge football games versus rival schools and tailgating and sorority life. I wanted that to be my experience and I knew I would get it at the school I chose. But to satisfy my mother and get her to stop nagging me to make sure I was going to the right school and “just to see that there are other options” I went to this college fair with her.
If you have never been to a college fair, basically every school within a 500 mile (or more sometimes) radius sends people to set up a table and recruit people to come to their school. It is rows and rows and tables and tables of people, free pens, free t-shirts, and all the pamphlets anyone could ever want. My mom and I developed a sort of system, I’m pretty sure. She carried a bag of the pamphlets to the schools I would never consider or didn’t care about at all. I carried the information for the schools that I might consider, if I wanted to give up my dream school. A really long story short, I ended up carrying information for a small bible college. It ended up mixed in with the information from my dream school. The small bible college had my information (so that I could get their free pen I filled out a thing with my name on it) and they called me the next day asking if I wanted to come for a visit. I went because I got a certain number of days excused from school for college visits. I had no intentions of going there, because I had my plan. And a small bible college was not in the plan. Then Jesus turned it into the plan. He asked me to be obedient and sacrifice my dream school to go to that small bible college.
That move by sneaky Jesus started a movement in me. It began to stir something new in me that I had not known before: an obedience to his will and not my own. He began gently tuning my heart to his. He began asking me to give up my dreams and having me ask the question, “what are Your dreams for me?” I’m not going to lie, it has not always been easy. Most of the time I fight it for a while, and eventually give in because God is WAAAYYY more stubborn than me. But it has gotten easier. I have tried to cling to things that I thought I wanted in my life. My dream of being in the music industry was the most clear one that God asked me to give up, and when I refused and clung to it harder, he completely cut it out of my life for 6 years. But I have come a long way since then. I have realized that when I walk in obedience to him and his dreams for me I am always blown away by how he meets and exceeds my expectations. When I surrender my stubborn heart and say “okay Jesus, do what you need to do… I guess…” I am always baffled at how he comes through. I have also found that when I give up and surrender my dreams to him, he tends to give them back to me eventually. He gives them back when I least expect it, in a completely different way than I ever expected but it is always better than what I would have picked for myself. God is a good and loving papa to his children.
Obedience and sacrifice are not easy things. Not at all. We are prideful. We think that if we aren’t going hard after what we want, somehow that means we are failing at life. That is not true. I have sacrificed so many of my dreams and hopes and ambitions because the Lord was asking me to, and out of my obedience the Lord gave me better things in place of what I thought I would have. My season of CGA is coming to a close in just a few short days. On Thursday I am moving out of my amazing house. I have loved living here so much. I have learned so much by living here. And as much as I don’t want to give up this season and what God has been doing and teaching me here… He is asking me to give it up. So I look forward with anticipation into the next season, where he is giving me something that is above and beyond anything I could imagine right now.
I am blessed to have been chosen to be a SQUAD LEADER for a squad launching in JULY!!!! I don’t know which squad I will be leading yet, but I am so excited for this opportunity to get to pour into the next generation of World Racers. My house mentor, Bill, announced it to me (and the whole house) last night at our last family dinner of the semester. I was in shock, awe, praise, and a little more shock. I can’t wait to follow this call back into the nations for 5 months, bringing kingdom alongside a generation who is longing to take Jesus into the hardest parts of the world. This means I will be fundraising again. I will be home in Michigan for 3 weeks in June, the 1st-22nd and would love the opportunity to share about this ministry at your church/small group/bible study/favorite coffee shop/backyard BBQ, anywhere. Be on the lookout for fundraisers soon, or as always you can donate through the link under my picture. To cover all of my costs (including what I still owe for CGA) I need $7500. I also have a wishlist started if you would rather donate tangible things that I will need in order to go.
Thank you for supporting and loving me through all of my crazy adventures!!! Love you lots and let me know if you would like to receive email updates/support letters.
Much love,
-A
