We walked to the end of Soi Cowboy, one of Bangkok’s most notorious red light districts and a little inkling in my brain said, ‘cross the street.’ I figured the three of us could sit by the phone booths there and pray or proclaim some freedom over the lawlessness of this street and its patrons…
…but God had other plans.
We hadn’t even reached the curb yet when I spotted him walking towards me. One of the many Western men who frequent this area looked dead set on having a conversation with me. We hopped to the curb in the same stride and he quickly introduced himself and asked where I was from.
Middle aged, graying hair, not fat or ugly really by any means…just your average looking European man (who I later learned was Scottish, lives in Holland, traveled around Africa and most of South Eastern Asia).
What are you doing here? You don’t need these women—can’t you get laid at home?!
I see you. Yes you. Even in this place. No matter where you go around the world, I am there. Know that I am pursuing you and that I love you. I want you for my own. Even now. Even in your sin. I love you no matter what. No matter what.
He told me he was here on business, so I naturally asked him what his business was. Turns out he works for the United Nations in Cambodia fighting for justice in the Khmer region where mass genocide occurred in the mid-80’s, better known as the ‘killing fields’ of Cambodia. We’ll be traveling there in about 3 weeks as well.
I hear you speak of justice, but what justice is it that these girls have no choice but to sleep with you to feed their children? They don’t love you—you are just a job to them! Why would you perpetuate an oppressive cycle of prostitution being the justice fighter that you are? I don’t understand!?! WHY???
Love is what you seek and love I have to give you, my son. I do have the best for you if you will come to me. It is all within your grasp. I have an inheritance waiting for you. Will you come for it? Will you seek it? Oh, how I love you!!
We stand at those telephone booths that look down at the neon lights of Soi Cowboy beckoning all to come and partake and I am mostly quiet. I listen and try to understand. I nod and ask questions. I disagree in my mind, but smile and ask him more about his life. I tell him I’m a Christian missionary and he grabs my hand and shakes it saying, “Oh good! A Christian…I’m one too!” as if we’re a part of the same Honor Society or something. I could feel repulsed. I could be ashamed of yet another hypocritical Christian, but I don’t. I look into his eyes and I see his hurt. I see his pain. I see his aching heart. He wants to be loved.
Underneath it all, the aching in his heart comes from a lack of
love.
He talks about being 46 and single, the prudish Englishwomen who don’t want to date him, how hard it is to try and not have sex and only being able to make it for about a year without ‘going insane.’ He’s been to Thailand 10 times and openly admits it’s for the Thai girls. He tells me how nice he is to them and how he treats them like princesses and buys them things and gives them extra money for their families. But all the sweet sounding rationalizations don’t cover up the fact that it’s wrong…and he knows it.
I see the conviction in his eyes and as the conversation comes to a close I say to him, “I want to encourage you to…” and I am cut off as he takes a few steps back and says, “You know, nothing you say can encourage me to not do this, I hope you know that.”
Defensiveness.
I’ve looked that one in the eyes before too. I smile at him and say, “You know that’s not what I was going to say at all actually.” Of course he’s now intrigued, “Really?” he says incredulously. “Really.” I reply back with a grin.
He turns around and I say, “I was going to encourage you to keep seeking God in all things, that’s all.” He looked back at me and nodded as he smiled. “I’ll do that.” he says. As he starts to walk away again I quickly ask if I can pray for him before we part ways. We prayed, I blessed him in Jesus’ name, he thanked me, and bid me great onward travels. I watched as he walked away and I knew that God had just done a huge work, not only in that man’s life but in mine as well.
We are to be the hands and feet of Jesus and Jesus was calling his son home through a little 24 year old girl on the side of one of the raunchiest streets in Thailand. I praise him for allowing me to see him as He sees him, as a hurting child of God and not as a repulsive creepy old man. Actual love for him filled my heart as he walked away and I cried out to my heavenly Father to draw him to Himself and to give him wisdom and eyes to see as He sees.
Please pray for these men that feel so unloved and unwanted in their lives that they stoop to ugly sin for fulfillment. These are the same men you see everyday walking down the street in your own hometowns. They are our uncles and fathers, our close family members. They too need the love only the Father can give. Join with me in compassion and prayer for them.
