Hey beautiful friend,
And yes I mean beautiful. And I’m not just talking about the person I see on the outside. Don’t let your perspective of yourself fool you into thinking you are not loved and accepted as is – and not just by me, but by God himself.
If you’ll take the time, I’d love to share with you a portion of a book I just started reading. The book is entitled “The Ragamuffin Gospel” by Brennan Manning.
First off, let me repeat to you what this book is or is not:
“The Ragamuffin Gospel was written with a specific reading audience in mind.
This book is not for the super spiritual…
It is not for the fearless and tearless…
It is not for the complacent or the legalists…
It is for the bedraggled, beat-up, and burnt out…
It is for the bent and the bruised who feel that their lives are a grave disappointment to God…”
Basically, this book is for anyone who needs encouraging… And that’s why I started reading it. I was feeling in a slump myself about a week ago. Not a deep slump, or a wide slump. But a slump just the same. And for me, no matter how far the drop, I’d rather get out and not stay stuck in. So here I am trying. And this time, trying meant opening up a new book.
The section I read this morning was a little bit about faith and grace. Most of the world would classify faith as believing in something unseen: a belief that God exists. The book describes faith simply as being more than that. Faith has to do with one’s relationship with God – trusting in Him. To trust in anyone, God for that matter, and to have a relationship with someone, we need to involve our heart, not just our minds. And perhaps when we have that kind of faith, we can begin to accept His kind of grace.
‘Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life… It strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for perfection does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy and courage. Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying, “You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know. Do not ask for the name now; perhaps you will find it later. Do not try to do anything now; perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything, do not perform anything, do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.’
– Paul Tillich, The Shaking of the Foundations
While the whole paragraph above could be dissected and discussed, I just wanted to point out two things. 1 – in the first half of the paragraph I am reassured that I am no worse or better than any one out there because I too have experienced seasons (long and short) of emptiness, meaninglessness, depression, anxiety, and much more. Secondly – it has become such a beautiful thing for me to go through all that because I can now begin to understand that God’s love and acceptance for me has nothing to do with how “good” of a Christian I try to be. He loves me when I suck at life. And He loves me the same amount in the times where maybe I’m not being so selfish and jealous and prideful and insecure.
God’s love is so divine and mysterious and powerful that it’s not surprising we try to label it in ways that we do. It’s that special that we want it. And to have something that special means we need to at least pretend we understand what it is, or the value of it. I think that’s how Christians tend to misrepresent what God’s love really means. Myself included. At church (and in life) people pretend they have it all together, but what you don’t see behind closed doors is that many people are trying to cover up insecurity, anger, discontentment, lust, and other unbeneficial habits. We lose the realness of ourselves, and (I think) the reality of the kind of love Jesus has for us. Jesus hung out with the messed-up people. He still does.
So finally, here are a few lines/quotes I read this morning that I particularly enjoyed:
“You may be insecure, inadequate, mistaken, or potbellied. Death, panic, depression, and disillusionment may be near you. But you are not just that. You are accepted. Never confuse your perception of yourself with the mystery that you really are accepted.”
“Whatever our failings may be, we need not lower our eyes in the presence of Jesus…we need not hide all that is ugly and repulsive in us. Jesus comes not for the super spiritual but for the wobbly and the weak-kneed who know they don’t have it all together, and who are not too proud to accept the handout of amazing grace.”
* I wrote this initially as an email intending to send it to a special friend. She’s not special because she has done anything out of the ordinary or, rather, anything quite ordinary. She’s special because year after year, the Lord puts her on my heart. He’s chasing her, and I’m waiting for her to find out.
