During the past five months being on the World Race, God has put me in a leadership position of some sorts for our squad. I have been one of two logistics leaders until otherwise declared. As logistics we find and set transportation from one country to the next and find lodging/meeting spaces when our squad (of 25-30 persons) has a debrief or leadership weekend. Thus being, since our launch in January, we have had two full debriefs and two leadership weekends. Ahh yes. And everything we do/find needs to be within a very tight budget, a short timeframe, normally inconsistent or inaccessible Internet use, and a different language.
When I first found out about this position I told my boyfriend. I vaguely remember our conversation, the gist of it was that he was happy for me but also was a little worried: He knew that I would do whatever it took to make sure my squad could get where they were going and within the timeframe or budget required. He knew my strength could also be my weakness: working at something so intensely and missing the opportunities around me, or worse: ignoring my physical, spiritual, and mental health. I appreciated his care and wisdom and decided it would be best to always have three things guide my decisions in logistics: trust, faith, and prayer.
Being that I’ve known myself for a handful of years now, I wanted to start my journey with a prayer of protection against myself. No way did I want to be walking through this year with pride rearing its ugly head where it doesn’t belong. I prayed and continue to pray that should God have me in this position, I will serve my team with humility. If God should see even the tiniest glint of pride growing root in my heart, he must take it or me out.
A handful of years ago I wrote a quote on my apartment wall:
Good things come to those who wait; Great things come to those in Faith.
At the time I was experiencing what it means to fall in love with the Lord. He was romancing me in ways I could not imagine or explain. One at a time, I began surrendering to him my fears and desires. While I was walking in a place of low self-esteem, broken relationships, academic failures, and financial insecurity I knew in the depths of my heart, with every bone of my body, that I would not be in this place forever. Before I recognized Him at work in my life, I believed in His unconditional love and infinite power. I had, and continue to have, full hope in his redemption and restoration.
This hope and belief has carried me through the last five months of logistics. When I am given a new transportation task or new lodging impossibility, the first thing I do is talk to the Lord. I come to Him in prayer, knowing there is not a chance I can succeed at this on my own. I give Him my time constraints, my budget, my schedule, my researching abilities, and my language. In faith, I believe He will provide all our needs.
“And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.” Matthew 21:22
And so this is where I am today. I have lived through five beautiful months of experiencing the glorious works of the Lord in logistics. I have seen him doing beautiful things, miraculous feats. I have been on adventures to unexpected places, communicating in a language not my own. While wrestling in the waiting places, His words poured life and strength over my soul. Where his Spirit led, I followed.
Because of my relationship with the Lord, I know that what I have experienced is not based on a position or title. I have seen his hand at work in my life before and I believe it will continue. What I desire most right now is for others to experience the goodness of Him, to trust Him fully… to let Him be the one in control. He loves you that much that He’ll do the legwork and take the burdens. You just follow His call. It’ll be there.
“Leaders may not always understand why God wants them to do certain things, but He doesn’t ask us to depend upon our own understanding or logic.” John C. Maxwell
I am now coming out of what was a crazy month of unintended expectations and divine appointments. In trying to balance ministry, communication among squad members, and handling logistics, I ignored the things I needed to do to take care of myself. My eating habits and physical health suffered. I’ve been swimming in a pool of frustration with no ladders for relief. My heart desires to invest more in people, but my mind is just too tired. I need rest. I need to be restored.
After much wrestling and prayer, I have decided to step down from logistics. I know God has great plans; He always does. “And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10. The frustration I sat down with has since turned to peace. “For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.” Romans 8:6.
Thank you to everyone who has supported my position and supports my decision. My hope and prayer through this time of rest is that the Lord will help me love and encourage the community He puts around me. I also hope to write some more and share the awesome things He has done.
Father God,
We just thank you Lord for being the ultimate Logistics leader. For taking care of your children, for bringing delights and adventures. Thank you for your understanding and allowing us freedom from the places of captivity. Put a whispering in her heart, the one you are calling next. May she walk in faith and trust. You are a great God. I pray you carry her through beautiful and powerful prayers. That she may fall in love with you. Bring her peace and confidence of your chosen. You know all things. Thank you. In Jesus name, Amen.
