Dear lust,
Nothing is harder than saying goodbye, especially when we’re going separate ways, but this goodbye is an easy one. Some friendships only last for a short time, but you and I have been friends for years.
We’ve been closer at different times in my life.
I remember we were introduced through crude movies and suggesting song lyrics when I was only in elementary school. We grew closer in middle school as the idea of “relationships” and “boys” peaked my interest. But it was in high school and college that we really became best friends. We invited loneliness and insecurity into our friend group then, too.
You’ve learned a lot about me in our time together. You know my weaknesses and my pain points. You know when to step in and when to be more subtle about things.
But I’ve come to see that even though you’ve been playing the part of a close companion, you’re no friend at all, but a painful, cancerous sore.
Oh the power you’ve had over me!
You’ve told me love is not for me.
You’ve told me I can’t measure up.
You’ve told me I’m unworthy.
You’ve kept me from stepping into confidence.
You’ve encouraged condemnation and shame.
You’ve been a thief of freedom and an opponent of joy.
You’ve told me that I was the exception to God’s grace.
The thoughts you’ve encouraged have torn at the lining of my strength.
You’re the one who always said “This time, you’ve gone too far.”
You’ve told me that I’ll be like this forever; that I’ll never be able to change.
You’ve told me this is a generational curse I’ll never be able to break free from.
Your words have carried such weight in my mind for years. What a huge waste of time listening to you has been. You’ve been successful in holding me back and highlighting perversion in my life.
But no more.
You are a liar.
You are a thief.
You are not aligned with my calling.
There is an upgrade, however, and in comparison to you, “upgrade” is an understatement. Her name is love. I’m kicking you out and she’s taking your place. Thank you for showing me that you are her mere counterfeit.
Love shows me patience and always offers grace.
Love brings conviction and calls me higher.
Love says I can change and you are not my end result.
Love says I am far from oppression and I don’t have to live in fear.
Love says I am holy, spot-free, and without blame before my Father God.
Love says I have the mind of Christ.
Love says Holy Spirit within me is greater than all evil (including you.)
Love says I am made new and I’m not who I used to be.
Love encourages me in who I am in Jesus.
Love is calling me into the deep and says it is here that I will grow beyond what I can see.
Love says I am free.
Only the love of my Father God can be this for me and He is the only one that can truly redeem me and free me from you. Because of Jesus, this stronghold no longer has power over me and fear of the future is gone.
Lust, you’ve been an inhabitant of this house before and I know you will for sure come knocking again, but know this…you’re not welcome here.
I want you to know I’m not sad to see you go. I have freedom from you and you don’t have a foothold in my life.
Love and I will do just fine together and I’m expectant of how she’ll transform me.
Thanks for everything,
Alyx
