I have been meaning to write a blog for several weeks now, but just haven’t found the words to express what all has been going on in my heart and mind.
As many of you probably know by now, I am back home in the States, 8.5 months earlier than planned. Due to COVID-19 and the state of the world, AIM made the decision to bring home every World Race participant. Within five days, I went from living Unscripted life in Córdoba, Argentina to waking up in my own bed in Spring Hill, Kansas. The last 2 weeks I had to self-quarantine since I had been traveling. And due to the current stay-at-home order, I now have to stay home longer, only going out for the essentials.
Being home has been good and weird and fun and hard. I have enjoyed spending time with my family, that 3 months ago I didn’t anticipate having. I have loved being able to chase Kansas sunsets again and play with my dogs and cuddle my cats (well not so much this one, as they don’t like that ahaha). But it has also been hard. There have been many times I’ll be walking around my house and stop and think “I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be here right now.”
This thought is constantly running through my head. I shouldn’t be here in Kansas. I should be in Argentina getting ready to fly out of Buenos Aires to go to South Africa. I should be living in community with my team, making meals together, watching movies together, worshipping together, talking about what the Lord is teaching us. I should be living the Unscripted life, each day asking who or what is on the Lord’s heart for that day. I should be meeting new people from all over the world getting to know their stories. Yet, I am not.
But wait. Wasn’t this whole 11-month World Race thing supposed to teach me how to live this Unscripted life no matter where I am? Wasn’t this a lifestyle I wanted to live the rest of my life? I don’t necessarily know why, but right now, the Lord has placed me at home. That being said, can’t I start every day asking the Lord who is on His heart? Can’t I live in community with the people right in front of me, making dinner with my mom or sister, watching a movie with my dad, worshipping with my friends through FaceTime or sharing how the Lord is working in my heart? Okay, yeah it’s a little bit harder to meet new people while stuck at home, but couldn’t I spend some time being more intentional with the people around me? When was the last time I asked my parents questions about their stories? Or asked my brother how he’s doing?
Someone recently shared 1 Peter 4:10 with me.
“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”
I’ve been thinking a lot about this verse and the gifts the Lord has given me. The Lord has blessed me with some incredible gifts. I’m not saying that to boast about myself, but rather I want to acknowledge His blessings. While I’m at home, I could sit around and only do things for myself. Or, I can use those gifts that He has given me to serve those in front of me. I’d rather choose the latter. In fact, I’m choosing the latter.
So, you may be wondering what’s next for me. Well, my prayer is that in a few months, my squad will be able to re-launch into the field and finish out the year. But with the state of the world, there are still many uncertainties, as I’m sure there are in your life. Right now, I feel the Lord telling me to enjoy these 30+ days at home. Enjoy the slower pace, but also the opportunities to do things that I normally don’t have time for. And while it’s different and not what I planned, I can still choose to find joy in it all!!
If you have any questions about my Race or anything at all, please please do not hesitate to email or text me! I have lots of time and would love to connect!!!
