Tomorrow. Tomorrow I officially begin the World Race. I began praying about this almost 2 years ago and I’ve officially been preparing for it for almost a year. And it’s finally here. With the new year beginning, I was recently reflecting over 2019 and thinking about 2020. The word v i s i o n came to mind. It felt so cliché to me being 2020 and all, so I quickly disregarded it. Again, it came back so this time I decided to explore why the Lord may be putting it on my heart.
One reason I chose to go on the Race was that it would be an opportunity to travel to many different places and see missions in several cultures and contexts. My prayer has been that in these next 11 months the Lord will reveal more of what’s next in my life. I have felt such a strong call to missions, yet haven’t felt a pull to a specific area or ministry. So, I’ve been praying that the Lord gives me more vision, if you dare, into what’s next.
While I don’t believe there is anything wrong with that, the Lord began shifting my point of view. Rather than praying for vision into what’s next, what if I simply prayed to see more of who He is? What if I seek Him before I seek my future? What if the Lord placed the word vision on my heart in that I learn and grow in seeing more of His heart?
Several weeks ago, I heard someone say that they didn’t want to look at the path ahead of them because they just want to look at the Lord walking right beside them. That image has stuck in my head since. I can easily get so caught up in looking for what’s ahead that I forget to look at the Lord.
At the beginning of the fall, it feels like the Lord took away my glasses. If you know me, you know that I have terrible vision. Without my glasses, I can barely see my hand even when it’s inches from my face. When I got home from South Carolina this summer I had a clear picture of how I thought this fall was going to look. But the Lord took away my glasses. Early on I realized it was not looking like I thought it would. I had to learn to focus on Him. He has always been near. Even without my glasses, I can still see Him. And He’s been faithful to lead me along the path even though I can’t see. But when I try to look at what’s ahead and guide myself, I can’t see and therefore I stumble and fall and get frustrated. That’s how these last several months felt. Going back and forth between trying to walk on my own, blind as I am, or looking to Him, focusing on His character, and allowing Him to lead.
As I step into a new year, as I step into the World Race, I feel as if the Lord is giving me a new pair of glasses. The thing I know about new glasses is that they are usually uncomfortable and annoying when I first put them on. Usually, I want to get rid of them and go back to my old ones. But as my vision changes, I won’t be able to see as clearly through my old glasses. I have to learn to persevere and allow myself a chance to adjust to the new lenses.
My prayer is that over the next 11 months, the Lord continues to give me new glasses so that I can continue to see Him more clearly everyday. I know it’s going to be hard and uncomfortable at times. I know that growth and refining are hard and messy. But I also know that no matter what, the Lord is near and He is guiding me. I want to be so consumed by who He is that I am no longer worried about the path He has laid before me. I’ll never fully be able to see God in His entire glory and majesty. But the more I learn about Him and His heart, the more I grow in my love for Him. And the more I grow in my love for Him, the more I want to share that. And isn’t that ultimately my purpose in life? Does it really matter if I feel called to a specific country or people group? Isn’t just following Him where He leads me enough?
Martin Burnham, a missionary in the Philippines, once said, “I wasn’t called to be a missionary. I wasn’t called to the Philippines. I was just called to follow Christ and that’s what I’m doing.” When it comes down to it, I just want to follow Jesus. No matter where He takes me, I know that He is good, He is kind, He is faithful, and He is so much more than I can ever comprehend.
So, with that, farewell America. See ya in 11 months.
