I came into this trip with expectations. A lot more of them then I realized.
People told me that I would change so many lives. That just my willingness to be here would move mountains.
Month 1 is officially over.
I was wrong.
This month was hard. It was good. But it was hard.
Ministry was really difficult for me. Especially with the language barrier. I struggled with this way more than most people probably do… I fell asleep each night asking God for opportunities that I could serve without words. And I found some, but they felt small and menial.
My second to last night in Santiago, we were at our Pastor’s house having our “goodbye dinner.” Four of his grandsons, whom we had the opportunity to get to know throughout the month, were there. One of them spoke English really well.
Halfway through dinner, my teammate Vivi jokingly told him to ask me for advice about anything.
I sat there while this 14 year old boy began to pour out his heart to me. He told me that he had no desire to do anything, not even hang out with his friends. He just wanted to stay in bed. He didn’t feel like he could do anything about his situation at this point.
And he asked me why he felt like that?
I was a little shocked that he felt comfortable and was willing to share that with me at the dinner table (while everyone else was laughing and enjoying their own conversations). I racked my mind for right words to say. But all I could say was “I don’t know.”
“But I do know this. God’s fighting for you and he doesn’t like to see a cool kid like you down.”
We chatted a little more. He didn’t give much detail and the conversation was brief, but my heart broke for him.
So I prayed a lot.
We just got to our first debrief a few days ago. Debrief is basically a chance for our whole squad to get together, process the month, and rest.
The first night, we had some time to reflect and I asked Papa to speak something to me.
He told me that that specific conversation was worth it. That if nothing else happened the rest of the month, I was there for one boy. To encourage him and tell him he is loved by God. And to pray for him.
And he reminded me of how important “the one” is. That he would leave 99 for “the one” because “the one” is worth it.
He presented an opportunity for me to pour out His love to “the one” who needed it in the moment.
That is enough.
Because that one moment makes a difference in eternity.
