I started watching NBC’s show “The Voice” these past few weeks. That show… mmm SO good. But I was really intrigued by one of the judges, Alicia Keys. I know she’s a knock-your-socks-off kind of singer, but something else about her was so… Compelling? Fascinating? Radiant? I literally don’t even know how to explain it, and for the life of me I could not figure out exactly what it was. At first I thought that it was the fact that she was completely makeup-free… ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. And she was still absolutely gorgeous. Like, I don’t usually wear makeup at my 300-student-populated high school, but it’s like the boonies compared to being on T.V.
But then one day… BAM. My Dad said, “It’s her confidence.” That woman – she exudes confidence. In who she is, in her appearance, just in her personality in general. And let me tell you… it is CAPTIVATING.
So me, being the nerd that I am, dove into article upon article and youtube video on youtube video, to figure out more about who she is and why she’s so dang awesome. I was a little bit obsessed to be completely honest. I don’t necessarily agree with everything that she stands for, but I mean, what world a famous icon do you know of that stopped wearing makeup and was still insanely confident?? I mean, holy crud… That takes some guts.
Then I stumbled upon this UH-MAZING article/essay that she wrote for “The Lenny Letter.” She talked about how coming into the entertainment world made her insecure about her appearance and personality. She even came to a point in her life where she didn’t even want to walk out of her house without makeup on because she was so fearful about what other people would think. She describes herself as a chameleon; “Never fully being who [she] was, but constantly changing so all the “they’s” would accept [her].” Long story short, when the time came for her to get photographed for her newest album, she rushed to the shoot from a workout, fully expecting to be made-up before people took pictures of her. Instead, she found herself in front of a camera completely makeup-free.
You might be asking, “Alyssa, what in the world does Alicia Keys have anything to do with this blog?” Just hang in there, that’s what I’m going to explain next.
We idolize people we see on social media, whether it be a celebrity, a peer, or a neighbor, into being these invincible, perfect humans (I’ve definitely done it). We think that they have their life together and are fully satisfied, so if we do everything that they do (post cool pictures, dress a certain way, act a specific way, etc.) we’ll also have an all-satisfying life. But we’re basing everything we know about them on pictures and outer appearance.
And yet, we get this feeling of inadequacy and dissatisfaction when we look at other people’s lives because we think that they “have it all together” and are “perfect.” Here’s my theory: everyone has a different perception of what perfection should look like. The person you’re trying so hard to model your life after doesn’t even think that their life is perfect. They’re doing the EXACT same thing that you are, just with a different person’s life. When we start to think that “perfection” is something that can be attained outside the person of Jesus, that’s when we start running away and hiding from who we are meant to be: diverse people created by the One who makes no mistakes — only masterpieces.
But we get robbed of this identity because we’re so afraid that if we are independently and unashamedly ourselves, people won’t accept us and will criticize everything that we say and do. So we hide our true, raw, and real selves… and we sugarcoat… and we paint facades over who we truly are.
I don’t know about you, but there was a time in my life where I did this (more so than I do now). I hid from who I was in order to live the life that I thought was “perfect.” I caked my face with makeup because I didn’t believe that I was truly beautiful or worthy (even though EVERYONE, especially my parents, told me that I was on a daily basis). I said and did things because I thought it would make me more likeable. I strived, day in and day out, to get the best grades I could possibly get because I didn’t think people would like me if I wasn’t smart.
Recently, I came to the realization that I guard parts of myself that I don’t think are “good enough” or “pretty” — whether it’s my appearance or parts in my life that I’m ashamed of. I struggle with surrender and with believing that God can handle the parts of me that aren’t all that pretty. So I don’t trust him fully. I stuff in my emotions & struggles and cover them with a veneer of “I’m doing just fine.” I do it with people, and I do it with the Lord. I don’t want people to ever know that I’m struggling, or hurting, or even just having a bad day. I like to be independant and figure things out on my own. I’m ashamed that I don’t have my life “perfectly” together, and let my pride convince me that I cannot possibly be loved if I mess up. And I’m afraid that people, and God, will be ashamed of me because I’m not “strong” or “resilient” or even “perfect.” What I hadn’t understood until now is that God is never ashamed of me. But anyways, I pretend with God, and I pretend with myself. I allow fear to dominate my life rather than God.
I read all of these things in Scripture that say I am chosen, loved, and righteous because of Jesus. But I’ve started to realize that I can know things, deep down to my soul, but if I don’t BELIEVE that they are true… it doesn’t really make a difference. If I do not CHOOSE to proclaim and believe (especially when I mess up, or am having a less-than-glamorous day) that I am chosen, worthy, set apart, righteous, mighty, wonderfully made, a masterpiece, free, whole, and bold BECAUSE OF MY SAVIOR, I will become conditioned to my own negative thoughts about myself. A.K.A…. That I’m not good enough, in one way or another.
On those days when I don’t feel particularly beautiful (whether it be because of my outer appearance or my mistakes) I tend to trade the truth of God (that I am beautiful, worthy, etc.) for a lie. A lie that says my worth is based off of my appearance and performance. It all came back to this idea that I had to live this “perfect life.” But that’s simply just not the Gospel. Jesus is the ONLY one who has ever walked this earth and lived a life of perfection.
Living a life unashamed of who I am and who the Lord created me to be IS NOT PERFECT, because I am not perfect. Rather, it’s intimidating because it requires vulnerability, and vulnerability means inviting God into the parts of me that are screwed up and imperfect. It isn’t easy, it isn’t pretty, and it definitely is not safe. I don’t know about you, but I would rather live a life of vulnerability and authenticity than a life trapped and suffocating in opinions and a false perception of perfection.
Living authentically doesn’t necessarily mean that you should stop wearing makeup on you face, but it does mean that you should stop wearing it over your heart, over your mistakes, and over your hardship. So I dare you to join me in letting down your walls, pulling apart the safeguards that are keeping back your true self, and just be unashamed; unashamed of who you are, and who you were created to be. Because GUESS WHAT — You are not defined by opinions. You are defined by the Creator of the Cosmos who knit you together in your mother’s womb and who calls you “FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made” (Psalm 139). Did you know, as a human being, you bear the image of God? (Genesis 1:27) Your true identity, as an image bearer of Jesus Christ, is beloved, cherished, valuable, loved, and created without blemish or mistake.
If you keep spending your time trying to cover up those parts of you that are different and not-so-perfect, you will rob yourself – and God – of living the life you are meant to live, doing the things you are created to do. God didn’t create perfect, He created people.
May we live as people who stamp their lives with “it is finished,” “redeemed,” and “saved by grace,” rather than “imperfect,” “unworthy,” and “not good enough.” By living as imperfect people in awe of our Savior, he can use what was once broken and make it beautiful – if we are willing to surrender and be vulnerable.
Channel your inner Alicia Keys and take these words to heart:
“I don’t want to cover up anymore. Not my face, not my mind, not my soul, not my thoughts, not my dreams, not my struggles, not my emotional growth. Nothing.”
Thank you so much for reading!!! It seriously means the WORLD to me. Please be keeping my team in your prayers… and also pray for my heart. That I’ll stop hiding, stop covering up, and just be vulnerable. Pray for my relationship with the Lord — that I will surrender to all that He has to offer — even if it’s really hard and/or uncomfortable. ALSOOOO…. I’m about $1,000 to my halfway fundraising mark! WHAAAAT?!?! Click that little orange donate button at the top of this page if you wanna help me financially 🙂
Peace out girl scout.
Lyss
