I AM ALMOST 1/3 OF THE WAY FUNDED. How insane. If you want to give, feel free to click the orange “donate” button at the top of the page! To those who have already donated, THANK YOU. I cannot say it enough. Your support means the world to me.
Now to the actual blog… (enter trumpet noises)
This past weekend I got to hang out with some of my favorite people. To say that was great would be an understatement… I think my cheeks still hurt from laughing so much. Although those 4 days were totally and utterly awesome, they also showed me a lot about myself. And, if I’m being honest, taking a step back and reflecting on myself makes me a bit squeamish. Am I right? Nobody likes to look at their mistakes and admit to them… It’s hard and uncomfortable.
I’ve realized that I often let my emotions get the best of me. Because of that, I don’t treat people as I should. “Love your neighbor as yourself” is definitely easier said than done. I get agitated when things don’t go my way, so I say nasty things and become totally self-absorbed. I pretty much just suck sometimes.
Super weird how the Lord uses our sucky sinfulness and turns it into something good. This weekend I was reminded of how much I still need the Lord. I’m really broken and sinful… but I’d like to think that I’m not. I mean, I don’t party, don’t curse, don’t break the rules, so I’m good right?
Nope, not good.
No amount of perkiness, serving others, or compliments can cover up my sin. It’s always there and if I’m not careful, it will start to consume me. If I don’t recognize that I am in desperate need of grace & rescue from my sin (every. single. day.), how can I proclaim to “know” and “follow” God? As a Christian, I’m not supposed to put on this facade of perfection. I’m not supposed to fake it. I’m not supposed to be perfect.
“Whoever says, ‘I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person.” (1 John 2:4)
Why don’t you just smack me in the face while you’re at it? I mean, COME ON. I am so guilty of not loving the people around me when Jesus CLEARLY commands me to. I whine when I don’t get my way, when people are annoying, or just because… And it’s so NOT OKAY. I cannot claim to “love” the Lord without really, truly, loving those around me. I’m not going to get this right every time, but I have to at least try. Even when it’s really hard and when I really don’t want to. And when I screw it up, I need to ask for forgiveness and strength to do better next time. Like I said, I’m not supposed to be perfect.
Why?
Because then I would miss the entire point of the cross. One man thought that I was worthy even in the midst of my mistakes, but do I really believe it? Do I believe that I am worthy of that? If I do, I don’t think I’ve been living like it. The reality is, I’m going to mess up and be in a bad mood sometimes. I’m human. I’m sinful. But I cannot keep living like I haven’t been saved from my sin. If I believe that I am saved based off of what I do, then I will start to believe that
I’m not good enough.
Not worthy of forgiveness.
Undeserving of love because I messed up.
I’m not gonna lie, 9 times out of 10 I believe all of these things – that I’m not good enough or worthy of grace.
PEOPLE. That is not how God works. Most of the time I forget exactly who he is. He doesn’t look at me & you after we mess up and say, “That’s it. I’m done with you,” and walk away. No. You have been saved by GRACE, not by the things that you’ve done.
Picture this: A kiddo is just starting to take his first few steps. He gets about 3 inches in front of him… but then he falls. And his parent rolls his eyes and says, “You suck. I cannot believe that you just feel over you little ingrate. I’m done with you.” NO. NO. NO.
His parent rushes to his side, brushes him off, and then says, “Try again.” And so he does. This little toddler tries again, and again, and again. But he falls 8,000 times before he gets back up. And guess. what. His parent tells him that it’s okay. That he’ll persevere. That he will succeed. And he does eventually. And when that day comes, his parent jumps up and screams, “You did it! You did it! I knew you would. I am SO proud of you.”
God does NOT walk away when things get hard. He isn’t disappointed when you screw things up. He does not shake his head and call you a failure.
HE PICKS YOU BACK UP AND BRUSHES YOU OFF. And he does it again and again and again until you succeed. He cheers you on & tells you that you have what it takes. YOU have what it takes. I needed so badly to hear this.
You are worthy. You are not a failure.
You are worthy. You can do it.
You are worthy. Because of Jesus.
He isn’t disappointed in you. For goodness sakes, He died for you & me in spite of our mistakes, not because we were already perfect. So let him pick you up, brush you off, and let you run until you stop falling. Because when you finally succeed, his face will LIGHT up. He will rush to your side, pick you up, and say, “You did it. I knew you could. I am so proud of you.”
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39).
-Lyss
