Let’s get real people… this World Race thing is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
Training camp was a lot harder than I thought it would be.
I don’t know why, but when I signed up for this crazy trip nothing about the struggle registered in my mind. It was all rainbows and sunshine and smiles and pretty pictures.
Prior to spending 11 days in the middle of the woods in Georgia, I was absolutely pumped about the Race. Nervous, yes. But still absolutely, over-the-top ecstatic.
And then the middle of Training Camp hit.
“Wait a second… this isn’t at all what I thought it was going to be.”
“I’m sleeping in a tent with 18 of my new best friends – aka, giant ants. I’m not sure how I feel about this relationship.”
“I can feel the sweat dripping down my body… Is it always like this? Will I ever feel clean?”
“If this porta potty falls over while I’m peeing I’ll literally die on the spot.”
“WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FLIES IN GEORGIA??”
“Find your happy place, find your happy place, find your happy place.”
The questions were endless. My train of thought was endless. Training Camp was really flipping hard. It tested every ounce of patience, self-control, and endurance that I had in me.
I came to a point where I honestly didn’t believe that the World Race was for me; I didn’t feel like it was my calling anymore, and I was just so scared. I started to question everything about why I was doing the Race in the first place… and I convinced myself that I had no reason. No reason for wanting to leave America and go to third-world countries for 9 months. I had made myself believe that I wasn’t supposed to do the Race anymore, and that the Lord didn’t actually call me to do it after all.
I was so close to calling it quits. So close to giving up and giving into all of my fears, doubts, and misery. So close.
Wait a second. I want to ask you a question: Why do people think that when you follow Jesus, everything is going to be easy and always go your way? Why did I believe that?
If you think about it, it’s pretty absurd. We’re all dedicated to following the Lord and stuff when he’s blessing us and when life is good. But why are we so inclined to give up and run away when things get hard?
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been viewing my relationship with the Lord as more of a contract and less like a covenant.
When two people get married, they’re making a covenant to each other. They are promising to support one another, to stand by one another, to better one another… and so on and so forth.
But I feel like this whole concept gets lost on our relationship with God; we view it more as a contract than a covenant relationship. In other words, we have an, “Okay, if you do this for me, then I’ll do that for you. Deal?” kind of mindset.
I hate to break it to you (I also hated breaking it to myself): That’s not how a relationship with God works. Sometimes, we don’t always get what we want. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes we have to fight to see God’s goodness because it’s so hard to see it in the circumstance that we’re in.
If we truly claim to have a relationship with the Lord, we have to stick with Him for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. We can’t just walk away when things get tough.
If He is constantly fighting for me – to know me, to love me, etc. – why in the world would I not do the same for Him?
When I was at Training Camp, it took me three days to realize that I was being blinded by fear. But the Lord faithfully stood by me. He kept His covenant, even though I was thinking about giving up on mine.
He swooped in and dispelled all of my fears about the Race. He reminded me that He has CALLED me to do this… not because it was convenient, but because His plans are always good. He has called me to suffer for His sake, and He has promised that the things that I endure on Earth are NOTHING compared to the glory that awaits me later. He has not called me to doubt, or fear, or question, or run away, or collapse from being overwhelmed. No. He has called me to be his daughter; he has called me to follow Him even when I don’t want to; He has called me to show people how much He loves them; and most importantly, He has called me to glorify Him… Even if that looks like sweating endlessly and taking bucket showers at 5:45 a.m.
Just because God has called you to do something, that doesn’t meant that it’ll be easy. Actually, He says that we should EXPECT tribulation and hardship when we’re living for His name (John 16:33). That’s why we have to hold tightly to our covenant. That’s why we have to fight for our relationship with the Lord; because, like it or not, life isn’t always going to be easy.
God also will never call you (or “uncall” you) by using fear, oppression, or just anxiety in general. That’s not God, that’s the work of the enemy.
God calls out of love, not out of fear.
God affirms and secures, he doesn’t make you squeamish.
God will NEVER ever, ever, ever convince you that you aren’t good enough, worthy enough, or ready enough.
Our God is a good, good Father who cares DEEPLY for each and every one of His kids. Sometimes caring looks like testing your perseverance and loyalty; sometimes it looks like people rallying around you with encouragement and support; sometimes it looks like conviction; sometimes it just looks really, really hard. But in the end, He ALWAYS works for our good and His glory. Always.
Will the Race still be really stinking hard? Absolutely. But I’m so ready to live up to the covenant that I made with the Lord. I will do WHATEVER He asks me to do because He is my Father and His plans are always good. And people need to know of the hope that He has to offer. How could I be selfish and back out of what He’s called me to do simply because I’m a little scared and uncomfortable?
God is good and faithful and righteous and perfect and dedicated to you. He loves and cares for you deeply. He will fight for your heart. Remember that.
As ALWAYS, thank you so so much for reading this blog. I can’t even express how much it means to me that you’re willing to take the time out of your day just to get a little glimpse at my life. I’m so beyond grateful!
-Lyss
