As I sit here in my hotel room at launch, waiting for the next session to begin, I can’t help but wonder about this next season. It doesn’t feel like I leave for Honduras on Monday, and it definitely doesn’t feel like I’ll be gone for a year. In some ways, I feel more ready than I’ve ever been. Yet, in the back of my mind is apprehension; a worry that I won’t be or do enough for this next year.
But thank sweet baby Jesus, I can hear the quiet whisper of reassurance that it’s not my strength or my works or my anointing anyway – it is all His. I don’t need to be enough or do enough – He is. All I have to do is allow Him to be my identity, relax into the intimacy of relationship with Jesus – choosing to release control into the hands of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, letting them be my enough. They are more enough than I could ever be. As I heard in session yesterday, isn’t it beautiful to finally not be strong enough? I pray that’s my anthem this year – to release the expectation that I have to be enough in everything I do, and let the I Am be who He is.. e n o u g h.
I wrote something during a creative prayer time at training camp and I think that now, I finally want to share it with people. I pray that you’re blessed by it and that it mends something in you like it did in me when my sweet Father spoke it over me.
PS – while you read or after, give this song a listen. It’s such a tender reminder of our relationship with God: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRj982d1EWw
Your love warms me like rays of the sun
From the inside out, it melts what has been frozen and unmoving
With each inhale, the ice in my lungs is unthawing & I begin to breathe easier
The Voice I remember is in my hidden places of shame, blowing life into the dead fragments
Don’t let dead dreams stay buried; dig up their bones and place them in My hands
Armies of My grace renew armor around you and yell out a battle cry in the cavern of empty space that you’ve given up on
Name your desires, fears, hopes and questions; they aren’t too big for Me
In the space that you provide, My Voice will be amplified for you to hear with absolute clarity
You don’t have to fill everything and feel cramped for space
Learn to love the openness and engage with My Voice, not just what you see in that place __________________________________________________________________
This is what it’s like for me to fight against the urge to fill what feels like emptiness with things that don’t matter – because that space isn’t emptiness, it is openness for the Spirit to move how He wants to. He brings things for me and takes things from me and always has my good at the forefront of each action.
He is good and this open space we have cultivated is infinitely good, and I pray that you allow Him to create an open space in you too – one of freedom and redemption, of emptying yourself so that He can fill you, one drenched in love and in forgiveness for yourself and for others, one that speaks so much of Jesus that you don’t have to say a word out loud.
Be praying for my squad and all the other squads that launch to our first ministry assignments on MONDAY! I appreciate each and every one of you and want to thank you a million times over for your prayers, donations and continued support!
Love y’all!!
Alyssa
