Maybe it was a fib, but I figured it was just good clickbait 😉 Celebrating my 23rd birthday Botswana-style was literally just me, celebrating IN Botswana. Eight months ago, leading up to the day I flew out of the States, I assumed every holiday, birthday, special event and small moment back home would be hard to miss. I thought that I would ache intensely at not having my birthday as usual, surrounded by family and close friends.
Today is my birthday. I am sitting on my couch in our chilly but welcoming Botswana home. I spent my day, from waking until when everyone has settled in to sleep, being celebrated by people that I love. The ironic aspect to the day that I turn 23? I don’t wish to be anywhere else than right where I am, with who I am surrounded by.
That isn’t to say that I don’t miss my home and my people, but instead that my definition of both has grown exponentially. I had twelve women wish me (or scream enthusiastic) “happy birthdays” through the day, interspersed with gifts, cards, a balloon attack, cuddles, cake and jokes. I played cards, danced around, had my face smashed into my cake, and folded pamphlets for our ministry. I went to an orientation about what exactly we will be doing in Botswana. I went grocery shopping, had lunch with some of my people, and organized the refrigerator when I got back. We had a fire outside and a couple smores. And wouldn’t you guess? It was incredibly beautiful and simple and one of my favorite birthdays to date. One that I will remember, always.
Not everything I did today had to do with my birthday, and that’s what made it so special. The small actions and sweet surprises that my girls did throughout today were the very things that made me feel so loved, so seen, so at home. I know that it’s a cheesy, overused phrase: home is where your heart is. I’ll admit, my heart misses the people I left in the States; but I love them, I know they love me, and I’ll be seeing them soon. My heart right now is sitting in the middle of undeniable gratitude that I have the opportunity to be in Mochudi, Botswana. My heart is bursting at it’s seams with the genuine friendships that have been forged with the people I do life with this year. My heart is perched on the edge of its seat, shaking with excitement at the knowledge that this ISN’T IT. There’s more. There is more depth to find here. There are more people I get to love here. There are more opportunities to share the good news of Jesus here. There is more intimacy to be found with God here. There is more friendship and growth to continually be found in my people here: my team, my squadmates, my coaches, my mentor.
I am overwhelmed today with thankfulness. I don’t have any extra special quality that precedes my being here. I didn’t do something to earn these friendships or this opportunity. God simply knows what He is doing. He knew where to send me, and who to send me with. He knew, before my first birthday happened, and even before my conception that I would be sitting in Mochudi, Botswana, on my 23rd birthday.. with twelve women that I’ve learned from & love, and just soaking it in.
As the night wound down, and the fire was still crackling, I sat on a block in our yard. Leaning all the way back, I placed my hands behind my head. I felt the sharp cold of the concrete, and the fuzzy beanie I was wearing. I sighed, looking up. Navy velvet was the background, and it was decorated with glittering stars. The light from the fire was rippling on the bare branches of the tree stretched over me. Barely visible, a faint dusting of silver created the cloudy phenomenon of the milky way. Strewn across this giant sky was a painting from my Jesus, for me on my birthday. One that I will remember and treasure. My Father knows how much I love to look at the night sky, and He made it crystal clear for me tonight. In the very center, a lone star was winking brightly at me. It wasn’t icy blue like the rest, it was glowing orange. I’ve looked for this same star since my second month in Nicaragua. Every night, before I went to sleep in Central America, I would find that star. I would look at it with intensity and the only thought I would have is that God knew where I was, and He was always by my side. It was a way that I centered myself before ending my day.
Tonight, I centered myself while seeing that star. Knowing that His goodness for my life and His love for me overshadows where I go or what I do, I am able to breathe easy. In Nicaragua, I saw some shooting stars. I asked God for a few more, just to test Him and honestly due to the anticipation to see more. I didn’t get anymore that night and said, “Okay, whenever You decide to show me more, Father. I’ll wait.” Tonight, on my birthday, I got a shooting star.
It was worth the wait.
