Training Camp. I was a little terrified. Of the physical and emotional exhaustion? No. Of the simulations that we would be put through to prepare us for the mission field? No, I was actually a little excited about those. I was afraid of meeting my squad.
I disappear in large groups of people. I’m afraid of rejection so I don’t put myself out there. I figure if people want to talk to me they’ll talk to me first. I’m not going to force people to talk to me by talking to them first, unless I know I have something to offer. I’m afraid of being awkward. So meeting the 55 people I will be doing life with next year? Yikes! I was afraid that at training camp I’d meet people but make no connections because of these insecurities I have. Well, at training camp God showed me these things I’ve believed for most of my life are lies, and I am not alone.
I got to ride to training camp with another squad member from Missouri. That was great! We got to know each other pretty well during the 10 hour car ride. Then we arrived at training camp and my insecurities took over. I only talked to people if they talked to me first. I sat in the back of the room during sessions. I felt sure the 11 months of the world race would be incredibly lonely. Then God intervened.
The first few sessions were all about facing our own pasts and insecurities. I’d come expecting to learn how to be a missionary, not this! After one session we broke out into small groups to talk about our fears and insecurities. I was shocked to discover I was not alone in my insecurities! Several others in my group expressed similar fears. The devil wants to convince us we’re alone, but we are not!
This was incredibly freeing! Knowing I was not alone gave me new confidence. Throughout training camp my squad continued to open up to each other, sharing who we were, who we are, the way we feel behind the masks we put on for others to see. There was no judgement. There was no rejection. There was no pushing people to the outside of the circle. We came together to rally around one another, to hold one another accountable against personal fears and weaknesses, to fight and to pray for one another, as brothers and sisters in Christ ought to do.
John 13:35 says “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have Love for one another.”
We are called to be like Jesus. Jesus loves us enough that he died on a cross for us to defeat the sin that drags us down and fills us with shame. It’s not God’s plan that we should be filled with shame, but with love and joy! As followers of Christ how can we do anything less than love one another?
Love builds families. Families work together to solve problems and have fun together. My only complaint about training camp? The lack of coffee. I was not alone in this! (Note to future racers, if you have a coffee addiction bring instant coffee!) Some of my squadmates had brought instant coffee, but there was only cold water at camp. On day 7 several of my squad decided to band together to make hot coffee for all who desired it.
One guy came up with the brilliant idea to make a stove out of a cinder block. Two of us had brought metal plates to training rather than collapsible bowls (one of the best decisions I made while gathering supplies apparently, a huge thank you to the friend who gave me the bowl!). These formed the burners on the cinder block stove. Those who had brought metal cups offered them up to heat water in. The smart people who had actually brought instant coffee shared with the rest of us!
That cup of instant coffee was the first cup of coffee in a week for me, and it was amazing! I was not alone in this sentiment.
God brought our squad together to support each other spiritually, emotionally, and even physically when times require it. Next year I am leaving behind at home some of the most loving and supportive family and friends a girl could ask for. That’s not going to be easy, but I praise God for providing me another amazingly loving and supportive community to step into.
