a little tap on the shoulder changed my life forever
Its always been a passion of mine, maybe not such a passion but something that my heart hurt for. The mentally disabled population. In my high school years I wondered how I could take these two things i love, missions and this population. I thought I had to choose one or the other, i thought it was what i would do if i lived in the states vs. what i would do if i lived in a different country. While getting my degree in Social Work at Messiah college, one professor once asked me "well, why can't you do both?" The question seemed exciting to me, the possibility of doing both these things but I had never seen any children who were mentally disabled on any of the missions trips I had gone on and I had never heard of a special needs place in a third world country. And so the question in my mind would come and go "why don't we see people with mental disabilities in other countries?" I think the reason that question would come and go quickly in my mind was because i didn't even want to think about it, i knew my heart would break even more if i knew what happened to them, and even more so I didn't want to face what I would feel called to do if I did know.
I raised my hand one day and said yes to going out to a cambodian village to teach english to children. Monday was to be the first day, and we traveled about 40 minutes and when we got out and sat on benches waiting for class to start. I felt a little tap on my shoulder and turned around t see a little boy with almond shaped eyes, a flattened nose and a tongue being barely contained inside his little mouth. He held out his hand to shake mine. He was a character, he danced for us and then pulled me out of my seat to dance with him. My heart melted again. He was trouble though, constantly stealing, hitting and acting out as a way to get attention. His mom and dad died so he lives with his aunt who neglects him. His actions all point to him being a victim of sexual abuse, and when he peed it was all blood. I came back to the dorm and sat with my team and cried because I knew what he needed, and what i wanted to give him, and that his life could be totally different if he were in a good environment that supported and loved him well. I was only there for 2 weeks and in that time i hope i gave him the love and patience that he doesn't get at home, but i pray someone would come for him and that their heart would break for him like mine did. I pray for someone to be there long term, to notice his little almond shaped eyes, and to show him more of christ's love and to give him a better life than he is living now. One thing is for sure, i will not forget him and he is always in my prayers. I left and my heart was so overflowing with love for him.
God has given me this heart for people like these two boys i met. Its undeniable now, the way my heart breaks for them and the tears of joy that come when I get to talk about them or be with them. I am not sure what this means for my life and but I am sure God will make that clear at a later time. One thing is for sure my life was changed by these little boys, by just a little tap on the shoulder.
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