I have experienced a lot of personal growth since being on the World Race, especially in the area of personal identity. This past week, the Lord has really been pouring identity into my heart, and rooting lies out. It’s hard to believe sometimes the lies that we have allowed to take root. Most of the time, we don’t even know they exist because they have become such an integral part of our being. It’s easy to live with and except these lies as reality day after day, because we rarely slow down enough to listen to the truth.
“Come away, my beloved”, it’s a command that we often ignore.
“Be still, and know that I am God”, it’s a promise that we are often intimidated by.
“In quietness and trust is your strength”, it’s a truth we often forget.
( Song of Songs 7:10-11, Psalm 46:10, Isaiah 30:15)
“Come to me, all who are weary and heaven burdened and I will give you rest”
On the world race, we have plenty of time to be quiet before the Lord, if we so desire it. We are very rarely truly alone, but God uses 5 hour bus rides and 4 hour hikes and even 15 min bucket showers to speak to your soul, as He has been doing to mine.
At the root of an identity change, must be a knowledge of the identity of the One who created you in the first place.
Tozer said, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” What truth.
I often times catch myself living like I need to impress my Father God by doing and saying certain things. Truth is, I simple have to be. To be His child and allow all else to flow from that. I must trust His goodness, His faithfulness, His mercy and His love. Simply saying, “I trust you, Lord” over and over and over has brought great waves of healing and wholeness to my heart. I trust my Father.
Just so I can be completely vunerable, one of the lies that He revealed to me this week is that often times, I genuinely believe what others have to say is more important, and so why would anyone want to listen to me? I have always said that I don’t like big groups, and I think it stems from this lie. That my voice is unimportant and unwanted, especially in large groups when there are so many other people with more important voices than my own. The revelation of this lie hit me full force in the “shower” the other day, and since I have been journalling through my past, allowing this lie to be revealed and then healed in circumstances when I was hurt as a young person.
My awesome squad leader, Melina, gave a little pearl of wisdom to my teammate Amanda and she was so kind as to pass it along. :
God is not restrained within time like we are, he created it. Because he functions outside the restraints of time, he can take us back to the points of pain and hurt and then heal them.
Often times it’s a process that we are afraid of, going back in time mentally and confronting moments of hurt that we have allowed to create scars and establish lies. I can tell you though, it’s a completely freeing and healing experience.
The thing about brokeness though, is that it’s not a one time, “get it all out of the way and then be ok forever”, thing. It’s not a one time occasion, that you allow the Lord to dig around in your past. It’s not a one time expression of pain, and then you never have to reveal brokeness again. The Lord calls the brokenhearted blessed, for they will inherit the kingdom of Heaven. The Kingdom of Heaven belongs to to those that are willing to allow the Lord to have access to their fears, worries, scars and emotions on a constant and continuous basis. Those that don’t pretend they have it all together and those that seek Kingdom identity. This is something I am still working towards and will probably be for the rest of my life.
I want to leave you with a few thoughts that have been impacting me thus far on the World Race. I pray they take you to a deeper place of intimacy in your own heart, trusting the Lord in the quite places and allowing you to go deep in stillness with Him.
“There can only be two basic loves, the love of God unto the forgetfulness of self or the love of self unto the forgetfulness and denial of God” – St. Augustine
“Prayer is essentially the expression of our heart longing for love. It it not so much the listing of our requests but the breathing of our own deepest requests, to be united God as fully as possible.” – Jeffery Imbach
“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is an illusion.” – Brennan Manning
