Back in October, the Lord gave me a vision. It was very clear and very precise, one of those things you don’t easily forget. It came after the end of a very difficult week. I had been torn apart that week, depression raged and lies tormented from the inside out. I felt like I couldn’t get out, till I finally was set free. The torment of depression has started long before that week, but that week it reached it’s boiling point.
Sometimes we have to reach the end of ourselves to find the fullness of Christ within.
I reached the end of myself that week, “broken” doesn’t begin to cover it, and the help I knew I needed was found in a pile of tears in the back of my church sanctuary. With prayer warriors around me, they prayed, I confessed. The hold I had on my heart was finally released, I finally let go and let God come swooping back in. Lies, depression, spiritual captivity finally left, truth rang from my lips. I was free again. I breathed for what felt like the first time in a long time. Really breathed, and really smiled. Joy again, me again. Thank you, Jesus, for your freedom! So I danced again. Dancing in the back of my sanctuary, a sweet homecoming in my soul, a sense of a clean start and renewed hope. Thats when the Lord stopped me to give me this.
I was standing on a dirt road overlooking a valley. Further up along the road were huge mountains, each looming directly on the path. Each mountain, and there was a whole range of them, seemed to be center placed on top of the road for which I was standing, making traveling along the road almost impossible.
The valley I was standing next to was filled with dead bodies, people and dreams, that I loved. Each dead body was either an actual face I knew, a face I loved, or on it was printed with a name of one of my dreams. Very personal dreams, dreams that I have held since childhood. There were also the dead bodies that represented the things I had been missing internally for the months leading up to this point, names like hope, peace and joy. The scene of the dead made me sad, so incredibly sad. In my vision, my sadness was almost overwhelming, but rightfully so. These were people I loved, the actual faces of my friends, and next to them were the dead dreams I had long lost, along with the fruit I had so desperately been missing. All dead.
But then, Jesus came and stood beside me on the road. Taking my hand, he breathed a breath of life over the bodies, and the valley began to move. One by one, each of the dead began to come to life. Each stood to its feet, each began to move. With mixed emotions, I watched some names come closer, some walk away. Certain friends, certain dreams walked out of the valley completely, and away from my little road. With gladness, I saw joy, peace, identity, truth, the ability to dream, passion, and hope walk towards me and join Jesus and I on the trail. I looked down and saw Jesus carrying something. It was a suitcase and in it were my tears, my pains. He would carry them along the journey. My hand in one of his, the suitcase in the other. I turned and said goodbye to a few remaining people in the valley, the ones who hadn’t walked away on their own. I knew it was time for me to walk away from them, at least for now. They would join me on the road when Jesus invited them.
The group that was standing with me on the road surrounded me as we turned down the road, and started heading towards the mountains. All the “people” around me were my new companions, new protection on the journey. We started walking towards the mountains, the first one we came to was the Mountain of Fear. As we started getting closer, the mountain simply slide over, it moved right out of the way. With no work at all, my group starting moving faster and faster, towards the entire mountain range. One by one, the mountains removed themselves from our path. First fear, then anxiety, orphan mountain and approval of men. They all simply slid out of the way, leaving a clear path to run. And that is where the vision ended.
You don’t easily forget a vision like that, but I wrote it down just in case.
That was October, and I’m here today to tell you about another dream that has just been returned to me. In July, I am going to be fulfilling a long time dream of using my gift of dance in missions. I’m going to Japan!!!
I have been a teacher with Celebration Ministry of Arts for the past 8 years and have been dancing with them for 15. In those 15 years, I have been blessed to learn how to worship the Lord through dancing and then impact future generations through my teaching. CMA began sending teams to minister through dance to Japan in 2005 and it has long since been a personal desire of mine to do the same someday. I will get that opportunity in July.
I feel blessed beyond words. I laid that dream down a long time ago, but in the Father’s goodness, he picked it back up, dusted it off and gave it to me at the perfect time. Surrendering is always difficult, especially when it comes to our dreams. We are so quickly plagued with the fear of laying it unconditionally before Him. What if he takes it away and never gives it back? Yes, surrender is not for the faint of heart. It required trust in the goodness of our God, having faith beyond what we can see that He is good and that He loves us. If we can do this, we can lay down our dreams into his hands and trust that He will work for our good and His glory. It might not look the same as what we wanted it to, but afterwards, we might just admit that it was better.
If you would like to learn more about CMA’s previous work in Japan, you can click here
I’ll be sending out more information soon about my trip this summer and how you can support me in it. In the meantime, I want to encourage you through this post. If the Lord is asking you to surrender something to him, do so. He is trustworthy. Don’t let fear and lies come in to thwart your trust in His goodness. His love for you is unexplainable, as are his plans. Don’t be afraid of that which you don’t understand, but let it go to a God who does. Run when it’s time to run, and lay it down when it’s time to lay it down, but always remember that Jesus is holding your hand through it all.
